I am PARENT. Hear me RAWR.

I've probably beaten this horse to a pulp by now, but this has been weighing heavily on my soul for the last few days, so I figure I might as well just blog about it. Hopefully that does the trick! I've mentioned over and over again how irritating it is as a new mom in a family full of strong opinionaters. I, personally, love a good debate. I like getting the conversation started. What better way to learn than to be around those with conflicting opinions on any given subject?! Here's where it gets annoying.

When the people you are around have no interest in listening to your point of view, despite the fact that they are beating you down with theirs.

Uhm, hello? What happened to giving the talking stick back?

My family is a classic example of these people. First off, don't you dare disagree with them. Oh man. If you don't live the way they do and believe what they believe, get outta here or prepare to get a verbal beatdown. Secondly, listen to the verbal beatdown and take it like a man. You stand there in your wrong-ness and be wrong, mister or miss lady. And Thirdly, that is all. Nope.  End of discussion. Don't say another word.

I've had to deal with this ridiculous way of life for as long as I've formulated an opinion. And it's only gotten worse, the more I free myself from their backwards way of thinking and get knowledge on life and other subjects. The biggest thorn in my side lately is how they totally undermine my parenting choices/skills. I was beat down for how I wanted to give birth [at home]. I was beat down for how I ended up giving birth [preeclampsia induction] and how I handled it [by moaning when it got painful and not practicing my hyperventilation breathing techniques].I'm beat down for not giving him table food since week two. I'm beat down for letting him sleep at naptimes. I'm beat down for holding him and refusing to let him cry when I can fix the situation. I'm beat down for not listening to "old wives tales" and following the WHOs recommendations. I really could go on and on for days on everything that they think I'm doing wrong. And when I try to explain WHY we're doing what we're doing, short of shouting that IT WORKS FOR US...I'm shut down. I'm stupid. I don't know anything. I must be a glutton for put-downs...I keep coming back for more.

And as if that's not bad enough, they completely undermine my parenting. I say no, they say yes. I say right, they go left. It drives me insane. This entire weekend, my poor baby has not had a decent nap unless I'm standing guard over him making sure no one touches him. I get that you don't see him as much as you'd like [every day], but he needs his sleep. When he's disorganized during the day, he's disorganized at night. He can't sleep through the night. And as the blessed mom of a pretty good sleeper, that doesn't fly well. When he fights me for hours at bedtime, that's no bueno. When he wakes up at 5am screaming at the top of his lungs for no reason, that's no bueno. You know why? Because none of you are there to deal with the consequence of said actions.

Which brings me to another point... I almost screamed today. Every single person there today would grab him, play with him, get him riled up, and as soon as he got the teeniest bit upset--they'd hand him off. Nevermind that he just ate and you're sloshing the contents of his full belly around and it hurts. Nevermind that he probably just wants to go from sitting to standing. Nevermind you're probably squeezing him too tightly. No. Where's mom. SHE deals with the fussiness. *I*, deal with the happy baby. He was having a tough time with teething tonight so a few minutes after going to someone, he'd be upset that his gums were hurting and he couldn't make it better so he'd cry. I felt like I was playing hot potato. When he calmed down, someone snatched him from my arms. It was horrible.

I'm sorry for the negativity. I've had a pretty decent time this weekend, but I just hate how no one respects me as a mom. They see that I've gotten married and have a baby, yes. But since he's only 5 months old and the only kid I have----I. Know. Ab. So. Lutely. Nothing. about being a parent. Nevermind that all kids are NOT created equal and are not alike or the fact that I've been this kids mom from day one of conception. Pssh- what do I know about my kid, right?



  1. Dude, that sucks. Undermining you and interrupting naps is NOT COOL. Because as you say, you are the one that has to deal the with the consequences! They need to start respecting you as a mother. Big time.

  2. Holy hell. With as bitchy as you can be with other people, you're a total weenie with your disrespectful family. I hope you know I'm saying that out of complete love, but my goodness, I'm shocked just reading all of this! You must have felt so angry, frustrated, helpless, hopeless even. That's unbelievable how they could be so oblivious to the fact that YOU'RE the mommy and MOMMY OF THE BABY (not mommy of the mommy or sister/cousin/uncle/great aunt/second stepfather twice removed of the mommy or whoever else) is NOT to whom that saying referred!

    *big hugs*

    Just... wow.

  3. The fact that I can't stand up to my family really makes me mad at myself. It's not like I'd be truly hurt over it because all that really matters is that MY family is happy and satisfied. I really don't know. I've come a long way with them, that's for sure, but I still have a long way to go with them.

    For example: my grandma is CONSTANTLY on my ass about giving him table food. when I tell her no because of WHO recommendations, she says that they can't tell me how to raise my baby. YET..when I DON'T do what the doctor says in regards to birth, vax, circ, and other stuff- I'm an idiot and should be listening to the doctor. WHA?! I just feel a serious case of whiplash coming on.

    Currently, my only "solution" is to stay away unless I feel the need to be around. And with us moving away within the next two years for sure, I "feel" like he needs that time with them and vice versa. Ugh.

  4. I can so relate to this! After 15 months of basically no one saying anything about me APing. The other day my mom said that she basically didn't like that we co-sleep or that we are still breastfeeding. Whatev. My kid, my boobies, get over it. BUT of course I didn't say that. I need a back bone, lol!

    I just wanted to say again, I LOVE reading your blog. Seriously, I check every day to see if you posted. Yup. I'm a stalker like that ;) lol jk.No seriously I do, haha!

  5. I love that you "Stalk". Cause I'm a blog stalker too. lol I can't help it, if I wanted to...and wouldn't help it either!


Tell me how you REALLY feel. C'mon..just TELLLLLL me. I love your comments.


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