resolving.

i'm not sure i've mentioned it before on the bloggity blog, but i actually HATE new years resolutions. i hate publicly declaring goals because when i fail {i saw when because i'm a victim of temptation and laziness}, i feel like a big loser. there's just so much accountability. first world problems, right?

but alas, here i am, on the third day of the year ready to roll out the list of goals i've mentally prepared. are you ready? i'm hoping to check back in a few weeks to see how i'm doing. and i'll be surprised if i'm still trucking along.

1. be more grateful for my circumstance. regardless of what it is.

a lot of bad happens in my life, but so does a lot of good. throughout it all, 

i just want to remember that i am never alone, i don't have to face anything without my 

Heavenly Father and His protection all around me, and that my question shouldn't be "why me?",

but "why NOT me?"

2. seriously, stop being fat.

granted, the last two years have been spent creating, birthing, and feeding babies. 

but i am in TOTAL control of what i put in my body. i want to cut the crap out.

i want to love exercise again. i want to drop 20lbs. i want to feel good in my clothes. 

which leads me to...

3. buy clothes that fit. stop it with the maternity stuff.

i guess as some sick form of punishment, i've been wearing maternity jeans 

since getting pregnant with austin. i figure, why treat myself to new clothes if i'm just going 

to stay a fat slob. well, stop it. i bought a pair of non-maternity skinny jeans...THAT FIT. and 

instantly felt better. i also bought new bras after being re-sized {CAN YOU BELIEVE I'M A 32G! A G!!} and see that when my boobs are in the right place {and not hanging down near my belly button} i look FAR less overweight. lol. so treat yourself every now and then, but don't be satisfied with your jean size...make that number go down!

4. make 2012 the year of the green smoothie.

ever since trying these smoothies in class, i've been hooked. they taste PHENOMENAL and are so easy and cheap to make. we buy a lot of fresh fruits and veggies anyway, so this has been so easy to integrate into my life. and how can you not love something as easy as leafy greens- fruit- and water?! i want to drink one every day, in the morning at least. it's been a great replacement for breakfast so far.

for more info..check out : www.rawfamily.com

5. be more passionate. 

whether in love, parenting, faith, photography, music, blogging, whatever.

6. be involved.

no matter how "down" i feel. i need to get off my lazy arse and DO something. 

working with others, connecting, and helping other people makes me feel better 

and it makes the world a better place. so get on it lazybones.

7.  drink more water.

because you used to like it. 

8. let go of grudges, pain, and hurt.

it prevents me from moving forward. and Lord knows, i need to move forward.

9. do something crazy.

pierce something. get another tattoo. go ahead and get that ombre look with your hair.

let pinterest be your guide. and just go NUTSO.

Happy New Year, y'all.

twelve months of mommyhood.

the year started with me being in my second trimester.  i started and failed a 365 photo challenge. we found out that baby b was a girl. austin turned eleven months. i did an aerobathon and almost died. we bought new furniture, our first grownup purchase. austin learned to walk! bought my first DSLR and fell in love.

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in february, austin turned 1! i had awesome pregnancy hair. we added a new member to the family. make that two members to the family {*cough* new car}. new tattoos. SPD ruined my life. bellybutton stuff took over my wardrobe. i vlogged  and sounded weird.

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march came and austin joined The Little Gym. i realized that a lot of the friends i made at JBLM were really losers. austin had his first haircut!! we flew down and spent spring break in san diego. while down in california, i pierced my lip. hubs got his official orders to move to Texas. we danced for babies. i was a pregnant, fitness-loving fool and austin had his first ear infection.

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april fools brought on the fall of the century. we got a new buddy. husband was almost the ex husband... just kidding. lol  happy 2 year anniversary to us. we celebrated by going to see a show with my classmates. totally soooo over being pregnant. pre-term labor? yep. BEDREST. BELLA WAS BORN!!! adventures in the nicu. austin goes to visit the grandparents.  start the process of discovering bella's biliary atresia diagnosis.

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bella has HIDA scan and two liver biopsies. mother's day. bella comes home from the hospital. austin meets his little sister. i discovered pinterest and lost more time. #momof2. GRADUATION! cut my hair super duper short. pnw bloggy playdate. ate the best salad of my life at wendys...for FREE.

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june came around and i went to bloggy bootcamp!!!! bella had her kasai procedure and proved she was a gangster baby. fathers day came around and the kids had things to say to their dad. we essentially spent most of june in and out of hospitals and keeping tabs on the bellalina. it was a stressful month, to say the least. we also drove over to spokane to celebrate my grandmothers 75th birthday, while charlie went to air assault school. it was a great week with my family.

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july brought about serious tests to my character, but change has been permanent. my mom came over and we celebrated the fourth really laid-back style. made the leap and started my photography business. the army medical department turned 236 and we celebrated. austin had his first kiss.  charlie turned 25. i started getting incredibly sad about moving away from washington. i discovered zucchini and became obsessed with it. {thanks pinterest} this video rawked my face and can make me laugh for hours.

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my besties and i got together for another closet fat kid pig-out reunion. i had a big crush on bella's doctor. i did a 20SB blog swap and met Elaine. my grandmother passed away. :( making summer 2011 one of the worst i can ever recall. and i discussed the ongoing debate of SAHM and WOTH moms. 

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my ppd started getting worse, but i didn't know it. i participated in a post-wide/ nationwide singing competition- operation rising star. i made it three rounds before getting cut due to lack of audience votes. laaaame. resentment was hitting full force.  we went to the puyallup fair and austin was in AWE. 

PPD smacked me in the face. another girls night for CFK!  oh, and i turned 24 and had my senior recital on the same day! and there was also this big ole uproar that facebook changed again. but i like it.

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october brought on a pumpkin patch takeover. it was fun exploring since they're a little older than austin was last year. austin started potty learning and then decided he'd rather just play with the potty. i made the Pioneer Woman's chicken tortillas soup and have since made it at least once a week. bella beat me up. i had a change of heart about being a SAHM thanks to Jesus. my littles showed me that sibling love starts early. pinterest gave some thin-spiration. i had an ear-infection!! and we had family pictures with amy from photographybyamylee and a good life blog.

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in november we went crazy. well, the truth is we've always been crazy. lol my family came to visit and i had a revelation about motherhood. pinterest inspired yet another thing: glowstick bathtime!! we kept up the tradition of weekly dance parties... everyday we  shufflin! i also flashed back to the 2008 version of me.  november blurred into december and i was totally not ready for it. i finished my bachelor's degree at Cornish College of the Arts. i packed up my house and moved cross country to texas. i spent Christmas in San Diego and i'm about to go through a MAJOR life event. 

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in retrospect, 2011 was one of the most challenging years i've ever had. it was filled with incredible joy and incredible sadness. i'm ready for 2012 to hurry up and get here. there's so many resolutions i have that just happen to coincide with beginning january 1st. no matter what, i'm determined to grow and change and be a better person in the new year. i hope you've enjoyed the journey of mommyhood this year. so saddle up, refresh your google reader and hang on. i'm about to DOMINATE 2012 babeh!

I think I'm pretty awesome already, but...

Like the title of this blog suggests, or rather states loudly and proudly, I think I'm pretty awesome. Not gonna lie. I mean, of course I could be better...but as is...pretty. effing. cool. BUT. [and that's a pretty big butt...teehee] with it being a new year and all, it's time to reflect on the changes I'd like to make.

Really get into my new "hobby".
The hus likes my photography "skills" and I've always been somewhat interested. I now have a TON of material, what with A and Baby B and my super cute husband, so I need to really invest in it and get going. I'm going to buy myself a new camera....a NICE camera. And get to work. I'm excited.

Be a better, consistent blogger.
I don't know about anyone else, but I feel like I don't really blog about anything of importance. I feel like a lot of it is fluff and no one cares. Not only that, with my school schedule practically ruling my life, I have a lot of gaps in between posts. NO MORE, friends.

Be healthier.
Obviously right now I can't focus on losing any weight. That's bad for B. Buuut- I can be healthier. I've done a lot better so far in this year than I did for most of 2010, but still...there's room for improvement. I'd like to walk more, especially during the end of this pregnancy, so that my endurance is in decent shape post partum. I WILL workout more after Baby B. Mark these words.

Be a better wife.
Let's face it. I went into marriage completely and totally into my husband. I had a kid and he totally fell to the wayside. We're about to have another child and I don't want to push him further down on my list of priorities. True, there are times that motherhood and that sanity must take precedence, but I must ALWAYS remember to keep him as my number one. Even above the kids. Shocked? I hope you're not. Without him, I wouldn't have these two babies and I need to treat him with the respect, honor, and love he truly deserves.

Act like a tourist in WA.
I've lived in this state since I was four. I don't do the tourist-y things. But this is our last year here, in the foreseeable future. There are things I haven' t done and things I had a horrible time trying. This year, my entire family [Baby B included] will go visit places and see things and create lasting memories.

Make connections and strengthen bonds.
You have no idea how many times I get sad going through my google reader and seeing bloggers making friends IRL. I think the readers I have are awesome possum and I hope to connect with some, if not all of you, at some point soon. I'm resolving to meet at least one mom blogger and have a connection in real life. Does that make me sound creepy?

And finally, be just a little bit more "out of my mind" all around.
Keeping people on their toes is my forte. Doing the unexpected is far too much fun to stop. Taking lemons and making grape juice...got it. I want to keep doing it. I want to keep pushing the envelope, cautiously of course. I will NOT, however, be pregnant again at the end of this year. Nope. We're getting fitted for an IUD six weeks on the mark after B comes. I'm crazy, but not THAT crazy.

There's always more and I'm sure I'll have another change of heart and want to make my life that much more fulfilled and happy. But this is good for now.

What changes or enhancements are you making in 2011?