it happened.

sooooooomeone turned three yesterday.

and i can't wait to share all about it.....

...tomorrow. lol

wordless{ish} wednesday

once upon a time...my kids met each other for the first time.

.... she was his favorite. 

... now two years later...

mommy still has them doing this pose to keep track of how big they are.

ANYONE ELSE JUST DIE OF THE CUTE?

because i'm dead over here.

lol

my BABIES!!! they're so big. i hardly remember them being that small anymore.

if i hadn't been there through it all, i'd swear they were born and over night turned into little big kids.

*sigh* 

mommyhood. 

i will be attempting to get this pose out of them at least once a year.

i totally failed 2012. the photo on the right was taken on jan 1 so i wasn't TOO far off. haha

and here's more from this little "inside the house, impromptu" photoshoot.

they really are best friends

<3

345 days later.... *cough*

soooo this one time...my son turned 2.

and seeing as how his THIRD birthday is only twenty days away *hold me*....it's only fitting to post these pics about his birthday, right? RIGHT? so it's not a COMPLETE mom fail moment...right? RIGHT? lol

i think the price tag on this party was around $350? i'm trying to keep tabs on how much i spend for their parties so i know if i'm going up in price or not. lol kids are expensive. i spent ALL morning in the kitchen cooking for everyone and actually didn't even sit down to enjoy the party until it was practically over because i had to keep cooking to refill everything. 3 lbs of my famous meatballs don't just cook themselves, ya know?

we rented a bouncy house that austin HATED. and there were only like 5 kids there. everyone else was adults that i didn't even know. bella was whiny and had to be put down for a nap right at the beginning of the party.

and then there was that very unfortunate moment when charlie's mom charged at me like she was going to fight me because i called her a liar. that's what happens when you lie, i suppose. *shrugs* so many bad memories...

in any case. happy times. check out my little two year old chub-nugget and reminisce with me. because i'm pretty sure in twenty days i'm going be losing my ever-loving mind, crying on the floor, because my baby isn't a baby anymore. three...THREE guys!

<3 <3 ...and almost <3

thirty-two.

thirty-two months.

that's how old my first born is. there are days when i can't believe he's this big and then there are those days when i forget that he was ever smaller. i stumbled on a picture of him when he was two days old and i nearly collapsed from the cute, small, squishy little baby. then i looked up and was all, "there's NO way this guy was THAT baby." lol but alas....

he surprises me, literally, every single day. he is the biggest copycat ever. he says exactly what he hears around him. he memorizes songs and sings along to them, whether he hears them or if we're singing them. he has so much energy sometimes it's hard to keep up. but at the same time, he's so focused when he wants to be. i'll sit and watch him line up or stack his toys, usually cars, with gazelle intensity. he is a perfectionist in his own way. he loves to be physical too. climbing, running, jumping, wrestling..he loves it. and he's just so good at it all.

there are times when he doesn't want anything to do with me. honestly, that's most of the time. maybe 80%. but then there's that 20%. those days moments when he wants to be all over me. when i'm his absolute favorite. today i wasn't feeling well and apparently, neither was he. he crawled on my chest, snuggled under the covers and slept on top of me for three hours. those are the best moments in the world. when he wants me to hold him and rock him to sleep, or just sit next to him while he watches tv, or hold his hand and race with him down the street. ah! i could go on and on and on.

he's so sweet and loving. so loud and rambunctious. he's definitely a lover. and he is SUCH a big brother to his little "belle". he is now the easiest kid to deal with. toddlerhood really agrees with him and his temperament and needs. he has his whiny moments, sure. but he's learned when mommy has had enough and when to cut it out.

as far as potty training...he doesn't get it. i'm not in a rush either. i still offer trips to the potty, but he'd rather pee in the shower and in his diaper. he's able to count to 10 despite missing some numbers. i'm slowly starting to work on his ABCs as well. he's incredibly smart and does new things every day.

i heart you so hard austin anthony. and i can't believe you're going to be three in a few months. you're my best friend. MUAH.

i blinked and they're grown.

my period is fast on the way so i'm feeling really sensitive lately. and last night i was feeling super sad over my babies...missing snuggling them and whatnot. so when i woke up this morning and received this picture from my mommy. pretty sure i got teary-eyed.

who ARE these two? okay...i know i say this a lot, but seriously...WHERE. DID. MY. BABIES. GO? those two are toddlers. certified toddlers, y'all. they're not babies anymore. and i think my ovaries are screaming for another squishy little baby. but yea...no more babies...as of yet.

bella looks like a grown woman. i've started calling her grandma belle because she just looks so much like a grandma sometimes. hahaha.. and austin is such a little grown man. and how can you not love how they hold hands sometimes!? AH! i miss those two so so so so soooooo much.

next weekend. next weekend. it can't come soon enough. my not so little babies.

oh and my heart beats a little faster when i realize that austin is going to be THREE in five months. and bella will be TWO in seven. *sigh* hold me...

30.

30.

that's months.

that's 2.5 years.

that's how old this kid is.

*insert panic attack*

when did he get this big?

i know i say this a lot, but i swear i  was just in the delivery room grunting, groaning and moaning through contractions for two hours and then pushing him out.

i SWEAR that just happened.

i still have it on video. lol

people say that twos are terrible. and don't get me wrong, there have been some moments.

but this kid is so sweet, so loving, so carefree, so unafraid, so bold, so friendly, so convicted...

it can't be terrible.

he has his own opinions and freely shares them.

he loves his sister so so much.

the way he says, "hi mommy!" or "hi daddy!" when we walk through the door? i just die.

he gives hugs and kisses  like they're going out of style.

he's OBSESSED with cars and dancing.

his two favorite cartoons are Chuck the Truck and Yo Gabba Gabba.

he prefers milk&juice to any and all food-

{we have to resort to singing YGG songs to get him to eat}

as i predicted, he didn't start talking until well into being a two year old,

but once he started---he's not  stopping!

he repeats just about everything and can recall things from memory after only a few repetitive times.

he still can't say his name {he calls himself AWW-ING},

 but can clearly say mommy, daddy/charles, bella 

and can correctly identify members of his extended family.

he loves fruit and crackers and anything gummy.

i'm CERTAIN he'll be an architect or an engineer, he has this weird obsession with lining things up and stacking things...typically he'll use several of his cars to do so.

he can operate the ipad, dishwasher, oven, tv, netflix and iphone with VERY minimal help from us.

and he loveloveloves to climb and wrestle.

oh and despite not being able to really, he likes to pull out a book from his section of the bookshelf,

sit down in his chair,

and read.

QUIETLY.

*dead*

  

i just love him.

the littles.

 if you didn't know by now, the kids are in spokane with my parents at the moment. and they've been really happy. they've been learning a lot of new things and growing and changing into independent little people, and to be quite honest- it scares the living daylights out of me! that being said, i'm so thrilled with all that they're learning and discovering. it's fun on some level, but it also makes me sad.

austin is learning to potty. IN the potty. holy crapola kid! stop stop STOP IT! diapers never really bother me. it's just those poop ones that make me cringe. how on earth does a two year old poop like a grown man?! and the best part is that it never really bothers him. he literally DOES. NOT. CARE. that's why he hasn't really had the urge to go to the potty on his own. BUT he does go when you put him on it so that's a bonus. but GET THIS!- my mom told me of three separate instances where HE...yes, austin.... the stubborn kid who came from my womb....asked to go to the potty. 

mind. BLOWN.

he's also using a lot of different words now. he can identify all of the major parts of his body and can say them back to you. he calls me mom {FINALLY!}. when i'm not paying attention to him and he wants it, he'll say, "mom. Mom. MOM!" and then start talking when i finally look at him. i can't tell you just how much that melts my heart. the first time he did it, i didn't even recognize that he was calling my attention. he just said "mom" and i turned and was like, "yes, honey?"....pssh, like we'd been doing it for years! lol 

and this little nugget of cuteness....i just can't, y'all. i really can't. she is just SUCH a big girl. everyday i see more of me in her and it makes me feel better. i admit. i get jealous when people say the kids look like charlie. i mean, they're his dad and all and he IS attractive. but gersh darnit- i grew, carried, and birthed them. and no, that's not enough. lol i want them to look like me okay! lol.. *insert stomping tantrum here*

but anyway. she's just a little cutie pie. and she's so busy. sooooo busy busy busy. i love watching her on skype. she totally knows me and interacts with me like i'm her favorite person in the world and it makes my heart swell like nothing else can.

i miss the mess out of those two. it's been less than a month since i've seen them and i'm foaming at the mouth waiting for my flight to go back and visit. i skype with them every other day or so. not that i don't want to see them everyday, but 1) they're BUSY. like super super BUSY. and they've got schedules and playdates and whatnot. they're really don't have time to sit and chat with mama except before bedtime. IF we can all get it together by then. and 2) i honestly sink into a mini-depression after hanging up with them. i want to snuggle them. i want to kiss their noses and pinch their cheeks. i want to smell their hair and skin. i want them to jump on me and crawl all over me and play games. i want austin to show me his cars and bella to grab onto my shoulder and stand next to me. and when i realize that i can't have that now.....suck.tastic.

but...once charlie gets back here in washington {more on that later}, they'll be back in my arms for good. beginning of june, i'll have my babies back. i can tough it out, right? RIGHT? ....

owling.

my kid is the coolest.

blurbs on life//decisions//mommyhood.

sometimes life sucks. sometimes you make decisions that seem really great and then they just don't turn out the way you envisioned them. sometimes that's your fault and sometimes that's at the mercy of others. i really wish the decisions i'd made before weren't coming to bite me in the ass right now, but i guess that's where lessons come from, right? 

the fact is, i'm making decisions now to make life better for myself, austin and bella. that life probably won't seem so great at first, but in the long run...hopefully....i'll see that it was the best thing i could've done with the cards i was dealt. gosh, this life-stuff and being an adult kind of sucks.

and with all THAT out of the way:

today, i was just all kinds of floored at how grown-up my little chub and my dear bellz have gotten. it took a whole three days away from them for me to see that they're not my babies anymore. *sniff*

austin climbed up the ladder at the playground today...ALL ON HIS OWN. up AND down. bella has been using me to stand up and then letting go and waving her arms around until she falls over. i just can't believe these two. it's craaaaaazy. 

i'm not ready to let go of my babies...*sniff sniff*

and here's some pictures from the day...

two.

at various times today, i have reflected on where i was just two short years ago.

12:00 midnight

checking into triage and the realization that we were going to be leaving the hospital holding my little.

sometime before 9am 

sharing the awesome experience with my momma.

around 11am 

really feeling the effects of induction. focusing on the prize...

somehow you started as this...

and you grew to this:

and by the grace of God, i have been able to be there every step of the way. i love you more than words can say. my heart beats for you. you are so so smart and honestly the funniest kid i know. i love watching you learn new things and take in the world with your big, wonderful, curious eyes. your personality is the best. your laugh warms my heart. i didn't know a love like this could exist. and you are shaping into a wonderful little boy. let's take toddlerhood by storm, yea?

happy birthday to my austin chub.

eighty degree winter.

we left washington a month ago now. {and for about two weeks we were "homeless"}. and i can say that finally i feel like we're "settled" here in texas. yes, we live at my mother in law's house and most of our stuff is in storage, but we're getting into a nice routine here. and i feel like this could be "home"...at least more "home" than it would be if i were back in washington right now.

i think the greatest part of being down here is the weather. it's no secret that i hate hate HATE snow with a fiery, burning passion. i think it's the stuff that demons make. {ya know, with the whole 'burning in hell, need some kind of relief' thing} i really don't see anything good coming from cold weather other than staying inside and being as warm as possible. so yesterday and this morning my facebook and twitter/instagram feed was all about the snow that hit washington and isn't letting up anytime soon.

so i'm not rubbing it in or anything, but...it's eighty degrees today. and it's beautiful. it's hot. lol. so while bella was taking a nap, austin and i went outside and turned on the hose {who cares that texas is experiencing a drought. if my almost 2 y/o wants some water, he gets water. :P} and we played outside for like an hour. it was glorious. here, check it out. {oh and please notice just how big my little man is. where did my baby go?}

who IS this kid?

*sigh*

can i cry that he'll be 2 in less than a month?