ending friendships.

you know how you can feel an instant connection with someone and it feels like you've known them for years? how they seamlessly and effortlessly fit into your life and you into theirs and it's just a beautiful friendship? and you feel like, "how did i ever NOT know this person?" and you wonder how you'll ever not have that person in your life?

well that happened to me. i had a friend that became so close, so fast and it felt like we'd known each other for years. i could go to that friend whenever i had anything going on, good or bad, and they would be there. it was great. they understood me in a way that few people have. it was awesome.

well, i lost that friend today.

i lost that friend due to craziness and stress. my friend, was a male. and his wife [the craziness i spoke of earlier] didn't like our friendship. despite already having issues in their marriage, she chose to focus solely on me. when it was decided that they were no longer going to be together, it was hard on him and i was there for him just like he would be for me. i tried to accentuate the positive. when the ish hit the fan, he had to leave and spend some time away from the house and his children. the entire time, she fed these poor kids lies about the situation and told them that he didn't care about them.

he returned home to three brokenhearted children.

it kills me to know that there are women out there in the world who would do this just because they are upset. if charlie and i ever decided to not be together for whatever reason, i would make sure that austin knew that it had nothing to do with him and that his dad loves him and that mommy and daddy just love each other in a different way now. and all that jazz.

i hate that i had to lose a friend to all of this. i hate that because of her own insecurity, he had to choose. not that i expected or wished he would choose me over his kids. oh Lord no, but i hate that it even got to that point. we were great friends. fast friends. close friends. he was my shoulder when i couldn't come home. because let's face it, sometimes i need a male perspective when dealing with my husband. i'm going to miss the heck outta that kid. the effortless way we just "clicked"....i'm gonna miss that.

i wish him and his children the best of luck. and i hope that his wife gets her act together. i know he is unhappy and desperate for happiness. i wish i could be there and help him. not that i'm an advocate for divorce, i urged him to constantly give it another go. to try and listen when they went to counseling, to be honest and forthright, to keep it real with her. i hope that in the future we can be friends again and all of this will be a thing of the past.

::tearshed::