Ramblings

I'm such a bad blogger these days. I'm not really sure why I haven't had the energy. I don't do ANYTHING these days except move from the bed to the couch and lounge. I manage to update on fb and myspace and occasionally twitter, but actually sitting and posting a blog sounds like a lot of work to do so I never get around to it. I have LOTS to update, but alas...

I have to start with this convo that I just had with my sister. I'm not sure exactly how long the conversation went on, but it was a lengthy one. Apparently, she doesn't like my husband. Well here's a newsflash..he doesn't really like her either! Not that I can expect him to with how she's treated him. It's really a sore subject because as kids we always felt my mom took my stepdad's side way too often to be fair- especially when he was DEAD in the wrong. But in this instance, the very first words she said to Charlie were a threat [when I visited in TX back in Feb...] and every encounter since then has been filled with negative words and rude actions, therefore igniting him to not thing she's a nice person and to treat her as such. He hasn't been disrespectful because I don't allow that, but he doesn't go out of his way to be super nice to her and when she throws an insult his way he can hurl one back. It all came to a head when we went home this past weekend [more on that later] and she said my wedding ring was small and his was ugly and we both called her out for being shallow and high maintenance. She got offended and threatened to cuss me out but opted to walk away etc, etc. Her and I just went back and forth on the subject and she accused me of taking his side and putting him before family. I didn't understand this statement until I got married, but the truth is: We left our families to create our own; we come home to each other every night; it's important for our family unit that we maintain harmony in our home; it's also important that my family and I maintain harmony; but when it comes down to it, I have to live with my husband. I'm not going to blow smoke up his skirt and kiss his behind telling him that he's right when he's wrong, nor will I do the same for any of my family members. I will stand up for what is right. Both were wrong and I called them out on it. The only side I stand up for is truth and justice. lol.

Then we got on several other subjects regarding my not working and her wanting more for herself than having a man take care of her; the fine line of being real vs being rude, etc etc..Other topics that got my heart racing quicker because I love /hate a good debate. I wasn't getting angry, but I was definitely a tad bit irritated during the entire exchange. I have to consider the source. I'm not saying she was wrong or invalid for anything she thought or felt, but I have to remind myself that she is 19. Her life experience, though we're close in age, is very limited in comparison. I was speaking to a 19 year old who has never been in love or a serious relationship, who parties and drinks her problems into submission rather than facing them head on, and who still relies on others for her self-worth rating each day. It's quite irritating. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I am FAAAAR from it. But after talking with Charlie a little after getting off the phone, I have realized that I have been where she is..not exactly, mind you, but similar situations nonetheless. I have also been to the other side. I have seen and tasted a life that is full of happiness. It's not stress/problem free, but it is a happy/content place. I feel for her. I feel for the masses. Heck, even Charlie hasn't fully experienced the glory of the life I'm talking about. My heart aches for people of the world. And I get so worked up during conversations like this, I have to remind myself that I can lead a horse to the water but I can't make them drink. I just need to take a step back and not feel personally attacked when they don't see things from another POV.


*sigh*

In other news, after 3 weeks of feeling ill, I finally vomited. It was a momentous occasion. I felt pretty good about myself. lol. Actually I felt like hell and then Charlie walked in with Taco Bell and I was better. I also realized that my cravings have been for the comfort food of my childhood. Fast food like mickey d's and taco bell burritos and fruit roll ups and actual fruit. It's weird. I almost bought some pickles today just to see if I'd start craving those.

Last night we went and saw Harry Potter 6 at the midnight showing. It was pretty fantabulous if I do say so myself. I LOOOOOVE Harry Potter. Charlie's a fan, but not as "die hard". I put it in quotes because I've allowed life to come between the love affair we have. I really want the 7th book again. I don't know if I bought it or not...probably not because I think Reshard and I had broken up at that point and I was severely depressed and stopped watching tv. Rabbit hole...So anyway. I want to buy it and read it to pick up where I left off. The movie was done really well. I loved it.

Today we went to DEERS to get my replacement ID card only to come home and find it tucked away in one of my notebooks. I feel like a heel. lol. I'm going to use the old one bc I don't really like the new picture...which brings me to why we went home this past weekend.

I've been severely lazy and not wearing makeup or doing my hair lately which has also resulted in SEVERE breakage. NOT COOL. So I went home and got a weave put in. I'm not sure if I like it. It's kinda big and looks fake. I'm not sure if I can tell it's fake because I'm used to my natural hair or if it really DOES look fake. Charlie likes it. It itches like nobody's business. I can tell you that. lol. It is nice not having to do anything to my hair unless I'm leaving the house. It's long now, but I am going to cut it as it gets closer to the baby getting here. I might even take it out and put braids in so it's less maintenance. I just want little hassle/no fuss hair for the next year and a half, ykwim. I don't want to worry about what my hair looks like when I give birth [though I doubt I'll care until pictures show up.lol] and when I leave the house with the baby. Blegh.

Okay...my hands are cramping up. GTG. nite.