Glass Half-Empty

I have to say that I am having a glass half-empty kind of day. I mean, from the time I went to bed last night [because yes, it was after midnight] until now, it's been kind of blah...for lack of a better word.

Want to know why? Keep reading. If not, I suggest you bounce. This might be a bit negative.

Our bed is far too small.
We're snoozing on a full size bed. I got it back in '07 when I moved into my first 1bd apartment on my own. Previously I lived in studios so a nice futon was all I needed. My exes parents are great and gave it to me. And two years later, they replaced the dirty mattresses with slightly less gross mattresses. Keep in mind, at that point in history...I wasn't dating their son. They rock, right? Most of the furniture in our place came from me since I'd had furniture because I was living on my own for years before I met Charlie. This bed would be great if 1) it didn't have a big dip in the center and 2) it was just me and the hubs. But this family is big on co-sleeping. Especially this breastfeeding mama. You have no idea how awesome breastfeeding in a side-lay position is during those middle of the night feedings. Pop boob in mouth- go to sleep. Genius.

My son is waking up a lot sooner than normal.
I'm used to waking up before 8 to go to work. NO PROB. But on my days off, I'm usually up really late because that's the only time I can really get to myself without feeling like a failure because I'm not cleaning or doing laundry. I like to wake up around 9 or 10 on at-home days. Well...the kiddo likes to wake up with Daddy [roughly 5 or 6am], nurse, and then play once daddy leaves and mommy thinks she's going to get some rest. Silly silly woman. This makes for a very irritable mama...since morethanlikely she's gone to bed around 2 or 3 am. But alas...motherhood.

Breakfast is a tedious meal.
I'm lactose intolerant and allergic to eggs. I hate breakfast because of these facts. Currently, we ran out of my favorite things to eat so I'm stuck with a banana and some flavorless oatmeal and some toast. Did I also mention we're low on bread currently. Now of course, I'd planned to go to the store and pick up some fresh berries, bread, cranberry juice [yea we're low on that fave bev of mine too], and a few other misc items. But OH RIGHT..Hubs forgot to give me my debit card back after yesterdays quick run to the store. Soooo...what did I have for breakfast? I didn't want oatmeal bc I didn't have berries and I'm not used to straight up oats yet. And there's no bread for toast. So I ate a banana and a glass of pepsi because water was just NOT what I wanted. Grr to breakfast.

Lunch/Snacks suck too.
See above issue in bold.

The kid just isn't satisfied.
He's fighting naptime. SOOOOO not fun. He doesn't want to play with his toys. He doesn't want to be held while sitting on the couch. He doesn't want his bouncer or his swings. He wants to be moving. in mamas arms. Well..mom's arms are tired from lifting humans for several hours last night so his chunkiness is hurting her. So I go to the rocking chair. He just CAN'T get comfortable. After changing his diaper and removing his onesie so he's bareskinned..finally he cried himself to sleep. In mamas arms. [we don't like CIO here, and since he was in my arms it's not really CIO...yk?]

I feel so ugly.
A big portion of my confidence is directly tied to my appearance. When my hair and makeup and outfit are on point, you can't say ANYTHING to me.  lol So on days like today when my hair isn't doing what I want it to do and I'm not wearing makeup and having a huge teenage-like breakout, and my clothes aren't fitting the way I want it to.....grrrrrrrrr. It's just not FAIR! [<----J. Connelly in Labyrinth.]

The kitchen sink is FILLED with dishes.
BOTH SINKS. 'nuff said.

Mom, Dad and Baby Laundry.
shoot me.

Hubs is having a beginning-career crisis.
He's in the Army. Other than the first two months of our relationship, we've never been separated. This will make sense in a sec..I promise. He's a radiology technologist and currently HATES it here. Where he works we call The Core. He hates the people, the way things just aren't right, how it's taking forever for him to get his E-5, how soldiers who don't work hard or put in the effort get to cross-train in other areas when he's an exemplary soldier and has accomplished more in 9 months than some have done in years. He's currently working in a position in Nuclear Medicine and LOVES it. He actually wants to change his MOS because of it. I'm all for whatever will make him happy. And bonus: it's a virtually non-deployable position. lol. ANYWAY. To make the switch, he has to put in a packet of some sort and get a class date. The school is down in Texas, his hometown to be exact so that's even more enticing for him since he hates WA weather. The classes are in Aug and in Jan. So he could get his class date/orders as soon as August or as late as January. This is great...for him. I still have to finish my bachelor's degree HERE in Seattle. No there's no online courses since it's a private arts school.  I start in Sept and finish in May. Sooooo either class...we'll be separated. Other than the obvious, it sucks because I'll have to move off-post and figure out a ton of logistic things. And did I mention we'll be separated? *sigh* I don't know if we should move NOW or just wait until we know when he's leaving. The good part is that my mom offered to come over and help with the baby so that's weigh lifted off my shoulders. I just don't know where to move because honestly 1)living closer to school and work is really expensive and not baby friendly and too far from our church and 2)living out here just freaks me out..since we moved on post because of how unsafe we felt.  *grumble grumble*

I think I'm losing my hair.
I was just looking at my hairline and there are two distinctive spots where it looks to be thinning. Really? I have unbelievably thick hair that I LOVE for it's thickness and I hope it's not thinning. I really hope not. I don't FEEL stressed, but maybe I am.

So there it is. My negativity out on display. I'm trying to look on the bright side of everything because despite it all: we're healthy, alive, and just overall truly blessed. My Lord didn't have to bless me but He has. I don't deserve the beautiful situation I am in so I AM thankful. I just don't like things being up in the air and feeling unstable.  This is where I reach out and let Him scoop me up in His arms. That's a better place to be anyway.



  1. Ahhhh, I can so relate! I definitely have days that just keep me in a funk, one dumb thing after another! And heaven forbid it should rain, I don't even want to get out of bed then! But tomorrow is a new day...with new dishes & more laundry...LOL!! Chin up chickie! :-D

  2. :D THANKS GIRL!!! I just needed a venting space...thank HEAVEN for blogs!!

  3. lovely blog :) found you through bloggy moms!
    Come join ours at www.montresorblog.blogspot.com


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