To You, I Apologize.

So I feel like a jerkoff. Being as passionate and opinionated as I am and have always been, this is not a new feeling for me.

I wrote a rant about breastfeeding. I was addressing my irritation for how many people DON'T breastfeed because of several reasons. The biggest reason is ignorance and just plain ole' not WANTING to find the information out there. I know people like that. It bugs me. And that's okay.

I don't feel judged for choosing to breastfeed. I don't need anyone's "pat on the back" or "way to go" to feel good about any choice I make for Austin or our family. I chose breastfeeding because it worked best for our family [that, and I'd always wanted to]. I chose to cloth diaper because it worked best for our family. I'm choosing to make baby food once we reach that stage because it works best for our family. A major influence in what works best for our family? Finances. Another major factor to consider? Living as close to nature as possible. 

Why am I explaining all of this? Because I want to make it clear that these choices have been made because it works best for our family.

My previous post is not addressed to those who actually COULD NOT breastfeed. I've had my share of disappointments as a mom [hospital birth instead of my home birth], but I can't imagine not being able to breastfeed my babe. I can only imagine that heartache and how that must feel. The reason I say this is because, though I knew I'd step on a few toes, I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings like I did here.
Truly, that was not my intention.

As Jessica said, she feels bombarded by breastfeeding as a FFing mom who wanted to breastfeed. And if I step in your stilettos, I can see that. Most definitely, I can understand that. Since I've only ever been a breast mom, I can only tell you, and anyone else who feels the same way, how I feel.

Do you know that I [along with women like me] get stares, dirty looks, and rude comments thrown our way every time we feed our baby outside of our homes?

Do you know that some of us even get dirty looks INside our homes?

How about the fact that people think we should go sit in a dirty, unsanitary bathroom with our babies?

Did you know we have to watch what we eat? I thought pregnancy was the end game for watching what I put in my body, but no- It's not. I like to drink. Can I get super trashed like I used to in my party-girl days? [not that I would ANYWAY...just having the option, ykwim?]

How annoying is this? I have to take a prenatal vitamin,  a fenugreek supplement, a birth control pill, and drink glasses of mother's milk tea every friggin day? Oh yea, and I need unprocessed oats daily too. Do you know how gross unprocessed oats taste? lol

Ugh. And I'm so vain...I will be carrying around an extra 5-10lbs no matter what until I decide to stop breastfeeding. And since we're letting baby decide his weaning time, who KNOWS when that will be?
Meaning, I'm STILL wearing maternity clothes. Gross. lol

AND..GET THIS...I find it hard to be intimate with my husband most of the time because he likes the bazungas [as he calls them] but those are for baby. If he even looks at them for too long, I lose that lovin' feeling.

No, I don't want pity. I don't want you to retract your false statements about me. I just want to shed some light on the issues that we face as BFing mamas. Just today, I was enjoying the Farmer's Market and my babe had the hiccups. Do you know how much easier it would've been to just give him a bottle?! Ugh..I wish I could've. But I didn't. And normally I'd just whip out the boob, but I couldn't feel comfortable so I went to the car and sat there to feed him.

And how could I forget this one? My cheer squad/football team are going to Vegas this September. Unless the babe goes with me, I can't go. Because he'll STILL be attached to the boob. So yea..sucky. 

I apologize to the mamas who actually could NOT breastfeed.  LET ME REITERATE: My blog was NOT for you.

THIS is what it was about: [and i quote] And when I get things like the "breastfeeding kit" that's really geared towards formula feeding...it makes my butthairs stand on end.

I feel as if there aren't enough positive role models and not enough support for those who CAN but choose to NOT because of ignorance and little to initiative to gain knowledge and support. This is my issue. This is my problem. I'm tired of people giving up and giving in and also NOT being able to down the road because some idiot gave them incorrect information. I was that mom who was getting bad info and if it hadn't been for the cafemom girls, I would've dried up faster than a teardrop in the Sahara. THAT would've broken me. Because we're not blessed with the capability to see into the future and hindsight is our only means of moving forward, I want to help others. Does that make sense? [Because when I read it back it confuses even me. lol] I was given bad info at 3 days PP--looking back, I see that I needed better knowledge/support--I want to be that person for other new moms who gives correct information so that THEY can keep going and help others around them. :D [there, that's better]

So Jessica and other women who were offended or put off...I'm publicly apologizing to you. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings or made you feel judged. That wasn't my intention. I promise.

Butt hairs all good? <----lol joking. :D



  1. I love your honesty and I agree with everything you have said here . And well done for not just ignoring your critiscm . I can tell , just through this blog, that yourlittle man is very very lucky to have you as his mum! YOU ROCK! :)

  2. Oh and for the record... I breastfed my son and ending up forumla feeding my daughter..Ive lived both sides of the coin and NEITHER is easy. Everyone feels judged ..whatever you choose. Its so sad when you make a choice and it doesn't go to plan. x

  3. Well you're better than I am for apologizing to the internet. lol I wouldn't have. There are going to be plenty of people in this world who get their "butthairs" in a twist. It's just how it is, and you can't please everyone.

    Thankfully, I've had a pretty pleasant breastfeeding experience. No one has ever given me dirty looks, i sure as hell wouldn't breastfeed in a bathroom (so people can just deal), and while I'll whip out my breasts anywhere to nurse.. I do so discreetly. After 3 kids, I'm just that good. lmao.

    I think of the moms who weren't supported in their breastfeeding efforts, so they just gave up. About all the money they'll have to spend on formula (especially if baby has a sensitive stomach. Some formulas can cost 85 bucks a week if their insurance won't pay.)
    If you're a mom who chose formula because that's what you wanted. Great for you! Hurray!! Why be offended? No one is trying to make you feel guilty.
    If you're a mom who tried to breastfeed but just couldn't get it down. Or a mom who couldn't breastfeed. No one is trying to put you down.

    Okay, I'll correct myself... there are some zealots out there, but do as my mom always said.. learn to ignore them. I mean really, what can they really do besides be annoying? (unless this is a family issue, then you're on your own with that one...)

    So to end: Kudos to you Kiranda. Don't be afraid to speak your bloody mind. Just because people don't like to hear it, doesn't mean it's not true for you.

  4. thanks M- like i said, i've got a big mouth and i love it. even if and when it gets me in trouble! lol

  5. Hey thought you might like this link :)


  6. I somehow stumbled upon your blog on my google search for breastfeeding tips. I'm a new mommy and I've had a hard time with breastfeeding, but still haven't given up. I return to work in a week or so and really need to pump. My supply is super low and I was wondering if the Fenugreek supplement really works and is safe for baby?! Thanks in advance!

  7. Hey Crystal- i hope you get this comment! Yes fenugreek works for me. It's been awesome. I started off taking two pills a day and have increased my dosage as needed. Also try drinking a TON of water helps as well.

    you can email me if you want to talk more! kiranda.mays@gmail.com


Tell me how you REALLY feel. C'mon..just TELLLLLL me. I love your comments.


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