I've been struggling with myself the last few weeks. Do I post about how much I can't stand him or do I keep it to myself. I learned the hard way that people don't tend to forget as quickly as you do. Whenever I'd have an issue with a boyfriend, I'd go to the girls or to my family. Later on, when things were peachy keen- they'd still be fuming. So I started blogging. Well that was private. Now that I have this public blog, and no desire to go to my private one these days, I'm struggling. I don't want to call my mom or other family members or friends because well...I have a tendency to exaggerate a little bit. Not over the top..just I tend to put more emphasis on why *I'M* hurt. lol. Not only that, I just don't want to hear "I told you so". I know that people think we won't last and I'm not saying that they're wrong...I just have faith...
Back to believing. When we got married we said NO-to divorce. It's not an option. To us, marriage isn't casually thrown around. It's serious business. Yes, we may have jumped in head first without checking to see what was beneath us...but we're holding on tight. We've agreed to exhaust all options...and we really do mean all options. When we got pregnant, we knew it was going to be tough so we armed ourselves with resources and outlets to help us through it all. Now that Austin is here, I'm finding that we're having issues getting back on the same wave length. My problem is that I feel like the mother of two little boys and he feels like he's doing all the work and I'm never satisfied.
We had a heart to heart last night and it revealed some really tough things that were on my mind. I was as honest as possible without being hurtful. I felt like he heard me for the first time. I hope he did. I felt like I heard him for the first time in a long time too. I know I've changed. I really do want to delve back into our relationship and focus on us. We're great parents. He's amazing with Austin and as long as I'm speaking up- I get the help that I need. I think it's time to stop stressing about the mom/dad aspect and zero in on the wife/husband part.
Hmm. This post was super heavy. At least it feels like it...
good post- marriage is really hard! people who make it look easy are faking it... there are so many days where my husband and I can't stand each other. other days where we love each other's company... it's always a choice, knowing it's not greener on the other side (outside of abuse)... thanks for your honesty!
ReplyDeleteMarriage takes a lot of work, but it is so worth it! The Rev.and have been married fifteen years now! We still have to work things out...but we love each other and divorce has never been on the table either! We found out we were expecting our first three months after marriage as well...kids can send things into high gear for sure!
ReplyDeletePhillip and I always had a great relationship but the stress of a baby put a major strain on us. We fought... we never used to fight, but the strain was too much. It took probably the first year of parenthood to work out all the kinks and get through the changes in our relationship. But we persevered and came through the other side. You can do that too. Just keep sticking it out. You have the right idea!
ReplyDeleteMe and my husband have ALWAYS fought like cats and dogs. I never realized how HARD marriage is. Everyone makes it seems like it's a walk in park! As you can see from my posts on my blog, it's not that way for me! It's hard but in the end it works out! I does sound like you are on the right track though! keep you head up, things will get better! <3
ReplyDeleteI just touched on this the other day. Marriage is hard! But I think it will be worth all the hard work in the end. I always look at how my parents have kinda struggled but made it through - and now they have been married almost 30 years! I definitely saw tough times when I was growing up - but I sure can appreciate them toughing it out now that I'm grown and married myself. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteGreat post by the way. It sounds like you know what you are doing. Communication is a big key!