You ladies rock. I can't say it any other way. I know I said that I didn't want any "advice" or any "opinions", but everything that I've gotten from the last post makes me feel warm and fuzzy and less "funky".
Going along with my month long truth session, I realize that the problem is completely wrapped up in the fact that C and I aren't getting along. Don't get me wrong, I love the kid to death and we have some really great times. But I feel a dark cloud looming overhead when 3 o'clock comes around. He's coming home from work and I just "know" that something is going to go wrong.
I'm not going to bore anyone with details. But it's just been a trying time for me and I don't know exactly how to deal with it. I'm the queen of being "on". Seeing us in public or on the interwebz, you'd never know there was a problem. I can fake it with the best of them. I accentuate the positive, if you will and put the negative on the backburner until I'm safe inside my house where no one can see me in my zombie-like mode.
I'm not "allowed" to post on facebook or my blog or talk to my friends because this is "private". But I've never been much of a "private" person. I don't want to talk to people about it because while we've made up and moved on, they might still be stewing about it. So I'm kind of just stuck.
*sigh* so there. that's the gist of it all. maketh any sense?
Makes perfect sense. A-There's no such thing as you're not allowed. You're a grown woman. And while I'm all for respecting your man, I'm not down for my straight out telling me what I'm not allowed to do when it comes to expressing my emotions and venting. There are certain ways that you can vent on Facebook, your blog and to your friends without making him look like the worst hubby in the world.
ReplyDeleteB-I think that you should talk this issue over with him and just let him know that while you don't want to put 100% of you all's business out Facebook, your blog and your friends are your outlet and that if he hopes to see things get better that he would allow you to express your emotions without any backlash. Reassure him that it's not about bashing him, but about retelling the situation and getting an outside opinion.
As women we sometimes get very emotional over trival situations and need to hear from our girlfriends that maybe what we thought isn't exactly what it is.
C-Don't allow yourself to feel pressured to become this uber private person. You were an open book when you met him and he still fell in love with you then he should still love and be understanding of you remaining an open book. Marriage isn't suspose to change you and that's where a lot of people go wrong. Marriage is about accepting your partner for who they are flaws and all. And nobody knows that better than me.
After almost 6 years together my fiance and I have finally given up on trying to mold each other into the perfect spouse and just learned to talk about the things we don't like when they present themselves and how we can be more considerate of the other in the future. All in all, it sounds like you love your husband and he loves you but you just need to vent about your frustrations to get you past this hump and you shouldn't be denied your therapy.
I mentioned the idea of getting a penpal in the previous post. Maybe he wouldn't be so opposed to you venting if it was to someone who didn't know you guys personally and therefore wouldn't be able to pass judgement on either of you while still allowing you get out the details you're holding inside. Wish you guys the best.
That's exactly why I blog. I mean I know some of my followers, but for the most part I've never met them outside the blogosphere. What a perfect audience, right?! I try not to post when I'm angry or upset with him because more than likely it'll all pass within a few hours. The times you've seen an angry post about him have been when I have an emotional "explosion", if you will. Times where I've held it in for so long that I can't help myself any longer. And usually I've waited a few hours and am still upset about the issue.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your advice. It helps! I'm in such a better mood today and am approaching this "3 o'clock deadline" with more optimism
I'm glad that I was able to help. I'm new to your blog, but I just see so much of myself and my situations in what I've read so far. It's nice to know that I can help someone else through somethings that I've been experiencing.
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