I AM Good Enough

Today, I learned the real meaning of "You don't have to be perfect, just good enough". I was woken up by the husband at 0500 because the babe was awake and he couldn't feed him a bottle since there wasn't any breast milk for him and he didn't want to take him to the sitter without any. I'd been silently stewing all weekend over it because I knew I wasn't pumping at all. I finally made the decision to supplement.

UGH. Guys..I cried. I sobbed. I fed my sweet babe the bottle of *gulp* formula and he went right to sleep...while I cried.

I felt like such a failure. Like, if only I hadn't gotten pregnant so soon, I could've at least made it a year without incident. I know if I didn't have school and work and other commitments I could probably do it, but with my running around all over the place, running on little sleep, trying to keep up my milk supply...it's just not happening.

And you know what...things haven't been as bad as I thought they would.

I do feel like I have a little more energy. I love being able to relax instead of retreating to the dressing room off the lobby to pump. I like that he doesn't mind at all. I love that we still nurse when I'm at home. I love that I don't have to stress about making sure there's enough milk for the next day.

And shh...I like that he didn't fight one bit tonight going to bed.

Am  I horrible?

Don't get me wrong! I am still 100% pro-breastfeeding and absolutely hate that I even had to do this. I'm hoping that I can make it to a year with Baby B. And let me remind you myself...

I EXCLUSIVELY breastfed Austin for 7.5 months.
I am still breastfeeding at 8.5 months. Supplementing will only be when we're separated.
My kid has a WICKED immune system and is thriving thriving THRIVING.
He doesn't even notice there's anything different and still prefers his mommy over the bottle.
I don't have to be perfect...just good enough.

I'm not a bad mom at all. I'm still feeding my kid. It may not be what I chose for him, but God has had a way of showing me that HE runs things from the beginning of my journey as a mom. [ie: planning my birth when it can't be planned, getting pregnant despite thinking that i couldn't, breastfeeding, etc.] So I'm bowing out and leaving it in His hands.


  1. You are still a great mommy! You bf as long as you could, he is going to be just fine! Dont beat yourself up about it ;)

  2. Aw... I know it's hard! I started having to supplement with formula when my babe was only 4 months old. I just wasn't producing enough... he was still hungry and I tried EVERYthing to bring up my production. And here I am- he's 9 months old and I'm still breastfeeding him, even though it's only about 50% of the time. My hubby tells me I should just ween him completely but I just can't do it yet. I guess we just have to accept when we do our best and be proud of ourselves!

  3. It is hard. And I feel even worse when I realize that it might just be making my life that much easier. If I was at home all the time I could still do it, but since I'm trying to make life for us better in the long run..I have to make this sacrifice. Thanks for the support. It helps when people are in your corner!

  4. You did awesome Mama! There is such a small percentage of people who nurse as long as you have - and you're STILL nursing! I always knew I wanted to nurse but never knew how hard and emotional it would be.


Tell me how you REALLY feel. C'mon..just TELLLLLL me. I love your comments.


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