steppin out....thinspiration.

flats: jcpenny | skinny jeans: motherhood | lace top: f21 | jacket: idk

i taught in Promiseland today at church. when working with littles, i find it easier to dress it down.

so i really love this ensemble.

you know what i don't love? the set of pictures my husband just took.

why? because they don't lie.

i'm in serious denial of what my body looks like and honestly, this was the ONLY semi-flattering picture he was able to get. all of the other ones show just how large my lower body is. and yes, i'm an endomorph. i recognize i'll never truly look fine in skinny jeans because i was born that way. but i honestly have no clue whose body this is, because it surely isn't mine.

i know i complain quite a bit about my body and then i go an eat an oatmeal creme pie or a spoon of whipped cream. {because those two things i did just yesterday.} i know exercise is a major factor, but since i've been running, i know that's not everything. it's my diet. i need to stop eating crap.

i eat a lot of healthy foods. and i add oil and butter to it. then i have to have snacks to sustain my metabolism. except those snacks are ridiculously horrible for me. and if they are low in calories, i tend to eat two or three of them. how much sense does that make? NONE. and caffeine is the only way to keep me awake during the day because i don't sleep at night. but i have to do away with it.

i want to replace soda with water and apples. i hear they work similarly.

i want to replace unhealthy snacks, with filling snacks like protein and good carbs.

i want to keep up the exercise and maybe even intensify it.

i just want to recognize the body i see in the mirror again. 

you know that moment when you see a picture and realize you're a LOT bigger than you thought you were? 

yea, that just happened.