you know why i've been absent on the blogosphere? because my life feels like it's in shambles, that's why. honestly- the last few months have just down right SUCKED. and while there have been some awesome moments...overall...it's been SHITTY, friends. just keeping it real. here's what's been going on.
this marriage thing? pretty. much. sucks. BALLS. charlie and i have called it "done-so". but really..we're just separated. not legally as that is too much paperwork to deal with and to be quite honest- not sure i'm ready to give up. here's the thing: we've been dealing with stuff for as long as i can remember. you see, there are major trust issues between us and i also feel like i'm putting in the effort to make this marriage work while he just skates on by focusing on his stuff forgetting about the 'US' part. coming to texas was my last ditch effort. so here i am. we're miserable trying to make our relationship work, so we decided to stop trying to make it work. {and by we, i mean me. we decided it together, but i've been doing all the work.}
we also had some drama with his family when we first arrived here in texas and i promptly bought one-way plane tickets to sacramento and the kids and i flew out this past saturday with the intent to move there permanently. one thing led to another and we came back into town today.
there's so many nitty gritty details that i would LIKE to hash out, but this whole experience has taught me to share some details and keep others private. not that i don't want to share it here on the blog, i just feel no one would care anyway.
THAT being said. i'm determined to find my happy in 2012. i want to let go of the crap and be happy, whether that is as a married woman or a single mom. either way...i'm going to be happy, ykwim? if you pray, please do for this situation. if you don't pray, maybe send some positive vibes my way?
and side note: charlie is STILL my very best friend and we've been getting along pretty awesomely this whole time. it's just sometimes the romantic side of our relationship gets a little effed. but honestly- still the man of my dreams, love me some him, love to snuggle him and we still dance around naked when no one is around. lol
Sending you love, hugs and prayers. I have no words of wisdom except to say fight. If you love him fight.
ReplyDeletesorry for what you're going through, I hope you figure it out!
ReplyDeleteAww I had no idea. You know you can come talk to me! I would gladly listen!! I hope you two get things figured out. Do what you need to do to make YOU happy and what is best for the kiddos. Hang in there and text me if you would like to talk!! =]
ReplyDeleteHaving been with my other half going on seven years, I have to say that relationships go through rough patches. Some last a few weeks, while others can last months or even a year. At the end of the day, it sounds like you really love Charlie and are still committed to your marriage. So, I say if you feel like it's worth fighting for then do it. Have you all tried counseling?
ReplyDeleteI've found that one of our biggest relationship issues was that we didn't know how to communicate with each other properly. And maybe once you all are able to effectively communicate what each of you need from the other, you all can work to banish those trust issues. I'm praying for you!
I am praying for ya, sweetie :(
ReplyDelete