i miss it here

we survive the end of the world // merry christmas // happy new year // austin is turning 3 // bella is turning 2 // charlie is moving to north carolina // so many changes..so many new things happening. so much reflection.

but i can't write. i don't know what to say or where to start.

i miss blogging terribly. i end up keeping a lot inside because i'm not writing it all here. i think i'm scared. or just too exhausted. but i miss it so.

i'm still dangling and floating in mid-air. and while sometimes it's refreshing, sometimes it feels like i'll never re-attach to anything and find purpose.

let's face it. life is grand. overall. i don't have much to complain about these days. but tonight i'm feeling heavy. i'm feeling burdened. i'm feeling like when people yell at me, i shut down. and i'm currently completely closed off because i don't know how to make others happy, yet still maintain a complete sense of self.

*sigh*
g'night.