It gets so frustrating when people like to add their $.02 on a conversation when it's not asked of them to do so. Like today at work, one of the guys that cleans the windows asks how things are going with Charlie and when I was going to Texas to visit him. So of course, I start sharing and he's asking questions about the trip [ie: where I'm staying, how long, blah blah blah]. Then he decides to start giving me advice and making snap judgements on Charlie and our relationship.
First he gives him flak for going in the army in the first place, saying guys who join the military aren't all together with their lives and their mental state. Then asking why he didn't go to college. Why does he still live at home? How old is he? So I tell him that Charlie IS well put together and went in because he's one of those few guys that actually loves this country and what the military represents and he wants to do something good with his live and travel. What's wrong with that! And that he doesn't live at home, but goes home for the weekends from base. Blegh. Then he starts telling me to be careful and to go into it with a guard up so that I don't get hurt.
I was so mad. With this guy, you can't ever explain yourself so I just nodded and shut my mouth. But I was fuming. I talked with my coworker, who experiences something similar to MIG's in that her boyfriend is in a successful rock band he's always touring throughout the year. [Currently, he's in Australia for a 2week tour then in about 3 months he'll be gone for a year on tour all over Europe and Asia.] She is one of the only non-MIG friends in Seattle that knows what I'm dealing with. I guess she gets her fair share of skeptics and people butting in where they have no business or right to do so.
She kept reminding me to not listen to what other people say. And I'm working on it. No one is there when it's just him and I. No one knows our relationship better that I do. So when people tell me to be careful...ARGH! I mean c'mon now. If I went into every relationship with the drama baggage from the previous, it'd never work out. And I'm not scared of getting hurt again. That doesn't mean that I'm plunging head first into something hoping I get hurt. But I AM loving with my entire heart and giving all of myself hoping that he is worthy of it. I can't walk around scared. Life is way too short for all of that. I have to be confident that there is someone out there who is everything I've searched for. I honestly feel like Charlie is that person! And if he's not, then I'll have another experience to share and more heartbreak to learn from.
Arrrrrgh. It just sucks sometimes to have people who "know everything" throw their "knowledge" down your throat.