Baby Updizzle.

i don't know what to do. last night and all this morning i've been having these dreams about being pregnant. even one where all i had to do was get a test NEAR the urine stream and it was like, YEP, definitely pregnant!! so this morning i woke up and went straight for the bathroom test in hand. i took it and within SECONDS it was a clear NO. :[

I wiped and stood up and glanced down to see blood clots in the toilet bowl. why in the WORLD am i bleeding again?! i went to my chart on fertilityfriend.com to put it in and noticed that i've had 3 cycles this month. the first one lasted 13 days, the second one lasted 10 days and now i'm on the third.

a little backstory for anyone who doesn't know. i took a plan b pill on the 8th when i had a momentary freak out and didn't want to get pregnant yet because i didn't feel we had "planned" enough. but after having long discussions with my husband and thinking about it logistically and realistically, i was back on the bandwagon. this is the third test i've taken this month that has shown negative. two hpt and one blood test. everytime, my husband gets really introverted and quiet and i KNOW it's because he's mad that i took the plan b pill [even though at the time, he supported my doing it.]

my mother got pregnant with me while on birth control. it shouldn't be this hard to get pregnant. i wanna cry. i don't want to go back in the bedroom. i don't want to tell him that once again, i'm definitely not pregnant. :[