An Overly Concerned Pregnant Rant

I know it's a long shot and I feel too stupid calling the L&D Department just to ask the dumbest question so I'm going to put it on my blog. I know at some point you can't sleep on your stomach during pregnancy. The big belly won't let you. But I've woken up plenty of times even as far along as this morning and have been face down on my stomach.

I'm not hurting lil' Austin am I?

Before you laugh, I AM being serious. lol. After having a horrible dream last night about being a horrible mother who couldn't even remember her baby's name or anything about the birth thanks to whatever drug they pushed into me....I woke up pretty worried. My stomach protrudes quite a bit during the day and night but this morning it just looked like I'd gained a few pounds. Pretty flat for the most part. It's just scary. I know I haven't gained a ton of weight or anything, but geez. So anyway- I drank some of the water that I keep on my nightstand and laid on my side and he moved a bit to let me know he was still there. [He's currently kicking me ferociously...see!! I DID piss him off. lol]

I'm just so worried that the dream I had is going to come to fruition. What if I'm not strong enough to deliver him at home? What if the pain becomes "too much"? What if I go to the hospital and they give me a C-Section? AHHH!!! What if I have negative responses to the drugs they push into me? What if I forget everything and can't do ANYTHING right when it comes to motherhood? There is so much anxiety building up in me that I keep just pushing to the side hoping to be calmed down at some point. I know worrying about it won't change anything about the outcome. I just need to keep praying about it and asking God to arm me with the tools I don't have and to help me tap into the ones I already possess.

I'm just a nutcase, huh?

On a brighter note: these kicks and punches are getting S.T.R.O.N.G!!! Last night even Charlie was surprised at how hard the little guy was kicking my innards. I think my little football player is suiting up!


  1. not a nutcase, its totally natural. No, you're not going to hurt him. If you can still sleep on your tummy at this point, great! Lucky you! Maybe you can just prop one leg up on a pillow to relieve some pressure.

    He'll tell you when he's uncomfortable - believe me!
    As far as labor goes, I saw you're a member of the Natural Pregnancy group on Cafemom. You can strengthen your resolve by reading a lot of the postings there. They're very supportive.

    Labor hurts, no lying here. But fear of the unknown is what really gets 1st time moms. Thats where I caved. The 2nd time around I knew what to expect, so it was easier. Visualization is key. Once you see the pain as helpful and USEFUL, you wont feel like your body has taken you hostage. Its easy to feel like your uterus has taken on a life of its own and it revolting against you, but its not.

    And remember - the pain cannot kill you. Nobody has ever died from pain alone. Pain is just pain, and labor pain is purposeful because it brings you a baby! And repeat this over and over:
    "going to the hospital will not bring me my baby any faster" Repeat that over and over from this day forward. And tell Charlie to repeat it to you in labor.

    Its true. If you're in pain at home, going to the hospital wont change that. You'll just be in pain at the hospital. Labor is painful no matter where you are. Better to be in pain in the comfort of your home than in a nasty cold hospital with rude nurses and drs. pushing an epidural on you.
    And dont worry, babies are meant to be born. They dont need ideal conditions. (I mean, mine was born in a car and was perfectly fine!) If you've been healthy to this point, you can be 99 sure you'll have a beautiful, healthy labor.

    Do you have the Bradley birth book?

  2. I do have the Bradley birth birth..well I have one. "Natural Birth: The Bradley Way". It's helping ease my fears a bit. I like knowing how my body is working so referring to my ute as a "big bag of muscles" helping "open the door" to let the baby out makes more sense to me. I like that helpful phrase..I'm going to keep repeating that. I can already tell that Charlie is starting to doubt my pain tolerance especially when I'm uncomfortable or in pain and can't seem to get comfy, so I'll have him repeat it as well!! I still can't believe Micah was born in the car!! lol...


Tell me how you REALLY feel. C'mon..just TELLLLLL me. I love your comments.


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