I know it's a long shot and I feel too stupid calling the L&D Department just to ask the dumbest question so I'm going to put it on my blog. I know at some point you can't sleep on your stomach during pregnancy. The big belly won't let you. But I've woken up plenty of times even as far along as this morning and have been face down on my stomach.
I'm not hurting lil' Austin am I?
Before you laugh, I AM being serious. lol. After having a horrible dream last night about being a horrible mother who couldn't even remember her baby's name or anything about the birth thanks to whatever drug they pushed into me....I woke up pretty worried. My stomach protrudes quite a bit during the day and night but this morning it just looked like I'd gained a few pounds. Pretty flat for the most part. It's just scary. I know I haven't gained a ton of weight or anything, but geez. So anyway- I drank some of the water that I keep on my nightstand and laid on my side and he moved a bit to let me know he was still there. [He's currently kicking me ferociously...see!! I DID piss him off. lol]
I'm just so worried that the dream I had is going to come to fruition. What if I'm not strong enough to deliver him at home? What if the pain becomes "too much"? What if I go to the hospital and they give me a C-Section? AHHH!!! What if I have negative responses to the drugs they push into me? What if I forget everything and can't do ANYTHING right when it comes to motherhood? There is so much anxiety building up in me that I keep just pushing to the side hoping to be calmed down at some point. I know worrying about it won't change anything about the outcome. I just need to keep praying about it and asking God to arm me with the tools I don't have and to help me tap into the ones I already possess.
I'm just a nutcase, huh?
On a brighter note: these kicks and punches are getting S.T.R.O.N.G!!! Last night even Charlie was surprised at how hard the little guy was kicking my innards. I think my little football player is suiting up!