I'm going back and forth between being "soooo over" this pregnancy and super scared and wanting him to stay inside! I know it's easier to take care of him while he's on the inside and then I look at DH and feel like this is the LAST time we're JUST a couple and I get a bit misty eyed. lol.
I miss my body. I miss working out. I miss being able to roll over and lie on my belly. I REALLY miss sleep. I was never a good sleeper in the first place, but at least I could doze off lying on my stomach. Nowadays..not so much. lol On the other, not so complainy side...I can't wait to meet my son. I'm not very patient at ALL so this having to wait for 40wks thing has been KILLING me. Especially since we found out we were pregnant at 3w3d...lol.
I also feel like this house just STAYS a mess. NO MATTER WHAT! I can't clean it good enough. I try to not care so much, but I have dreams about cleaning. lol My mom is coming in a week and I know she won't care too much about how clean the house is, but I'm stressing. DH is helping wherever he can. [He cleaned his car out today FINALLY..omgaaah it's so nice looking on the inside!] But he also works the next few days so it's up to me to get the house in order while he's out.
I keep thinking about the labor too. Last night I had really horrible back pain and was almost in tears and I kept thinking, "There is NO way I'm going to last through labor..." but I started using the relaxation techniques from my Bradley book and I eventually was able to drift off to sleep. That gave me some encouragement to keep going with the homebirth! I'm super nervous that my water is gonna break while I'm out and about. I almost WANT it to happen that way. Is that weird? I'm super paranoid because other than BH, I haven't had any other labor signs. My poo has been "liquidy" for months now so I'm not even paying attention to that. I'm obsessive looking for my bloody show, but alas... I have a dr appt on Thursday. I know I shouldn't care too much, but I'm anxious to see if I'm dilating or effacing yet. Some of these BH feel super productive so that'd be some encouragement. I know no one stays pregnant forever but I'm beginning to feel that way.
*le sigh* Enough of the darn novel already...I'm going to bed. lol