I really should be doing something else. Hmm maybe something like packing for my trip with Austin tomorrow? Yea, that'd be helpful for sure!

But I'm having a mild case of ADD. I can't focus! I'll start laundry and then sit down and listen to playlists on Pandora. Or I'll start organizing outfits and then get a message from facebook and get into that. I took a bath to try and escape for a few moments and ended up having to run more hot water because I was in for so long!! I was reading Breaking Dawn so that didn't help any.

I'm just so distracted.

I keep thinking about everything and nothing all at the same time. I'm thinking about how I feel myself shutting down. How I love that I found an old crush on facebook and saw that he's doing well and just got married. How my message totally brightened his day. Now keep in mind, this guy was 17 when I crushed on him at the ripe ole age of 10. lol. How I need a break from my own reality. How happy I am to be getting into a groove with this blogging thing. How great new friends are. How some people come around and with the simplest text message can make your dim situation that much brighter. How unhappy I've been lately and how I can't seem to feel happy no matter how hard I try. How awesome my little babe is. How much he's growing. And how much I want it to stop. lol How I wish Bella's life was my own at times. How much I need a vacation all alone to wherever I choose. How I sometimes wish I would've chosen no instead of yes. How much I want another baby, but at the same time don't want to for selfish reasons--then I feel bad for being selfish. How I wish I had the willpower to say no to pepsi and yes to water all the time. How my back hurts. How my leg still hurts.

And that's just what I can come up with in a few seconds. So you see, I'm just everywhere and nowhere right now.

I need to get my head in the game. Rawr.

tata for now.

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