I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date!

Do you ever find yourself thinking this phrase made popular by the white rabbit from Wonderland? Previous to getting married and having kids, I was the queen of being on time. I'd leave the house 2 hours before an appointment to ensure I arrived AT LEAST an hour early. I enjoyed being early. This fact usually earned me the job during interviews and people were super impressed by it. I always felt at ease and relaxed because I had time. You see, as a child, my mother was perpetually late. It didn't matter what time we got ready, how early we left the house...we.were.always.late. It bugged the crapola outta meh!

So why is it that having kids and a husband make you late?!

I was de-friggin-termined to not be one of those moms. You know, those moms who give the "i have kids" excuse. HA! "Whatever woman," I'd always muse. "You're just lazy and irresponsible and you have horrible time management issues". Boy, was I misinformed!!

Since Austin, I'm never early. And I'm never on time. Pssh, I consider it a victory if we arrive at least ten minutes late! Isn't that just horrible! I was reading Mummy Mayhem via Bloggymoms.com and she posted on this very topic. She has three kids and a husband and she's late too, an issue her husband gets pretty exasperated about. But she's right! If you had to get 5 people ready all by your lonesome, you'd be late too! I started thinking..."why am *I* always late?" I've got a similar issue going on! I don't have three kids, but I feel like I have two sons!

I'm usually the one who wakes up first, but at some point I'll wake Charlie up and tell him he has "suchandsuchamountoftime" to get ready. All he needs to do is shower, put on clothes, grab his breakfast and go out the door. But usually, he grabs his breakfast first, sits in front of the tube for friggin EVER, then decides at some point that he should get dressed [usually because I'm running around the house like a chicken with my head cut off], and then he complains about what to wear. He goes through outfit upon outfit. All the while, I'm trying to finish my hair and makeup and figure out what I'm going to wear because, unlike a lot of women who complain about "nothing to wear" with a closet full of clothes, I only have maternity wear and clothes from two years ago! I have very limited choices on clothes that actually fit and function for a breastfeeding mother. I'm talking, maybe, two weeks worth of outfits...mixing and matching. Keep in mind that's two pairs of jeans! lol Once I'm ready, I find him STILL watching tv and reminding ME of the time.

Oh yea, we have a kid don'tcha know?! And he's more than likely still snoozing away!!

So I've got to do the unthinkable. *gasp* wake. him. UP! *gasp* *shudder* "oh no how COULD you!?"...this makes for a very. VERY mad mister Austin. And if this our typical day, [that IS what we're talking about, right?] I have yet to figure out what lil' man is going to wear! So I wipe him down or give him a bath [totally depends on how wet or sweaty he gets over night] and put on some lotion and a fresh diaper. I'll usually ask the dear hubs to grab an outfit during this point. Mister helpful brings me something that USUALLY doesn't 1) match, 2) fit, or 3)go well with the weather so I'll have to go into his closet and dig something up. All the while checking that ever ticking clock by my bedside. Finally, I get the babe dressed.

OH MAN! He has to eat too, huh?! *sigh* So I sit in the rocking chair and plop that boob in his mouth so he can feast. Hopefully he's in a good mood because if not---we're not moving until he settles down. He likes to scream and arch his back when he's upset. Little cutie pie *teethgrind*

At this point I'm probably upset that we're running late and when I'm stressed- I can't hide it. It shows on my face, in my posture, in my movements---EVERYWHERE. So then the hubs starts in on me on that...isn't he loverly?! :D We FINALLY rush out of the house only to come to a few realizations as we drive through the post gates...

1)We didn't pack any wipes/extra diapers  and 2) I didn't grab anything for breakfast