I'm proud of my efforts last week. In light of my MRI results [which I shall explain in another post], I've been worried about whether or not I'll be able to work out. But despite the bad news, I feel compelled to keep running. I don't know where it's coming from.
It may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, but I can run a mile now. And the more often I do it, the less it hurts afterwards. I've been lifting too. And the more often I do it, the more weight I can add on. I feel myself getting stronger. I see subtle changes. Not on the scale, but definitely in my clothes. Now when I wear my size 14 jeans, even straight from the dryer, they sag and are constantly falling off. When I wear my size 10 jeans, straight from the dryer, they don't create a muffin top. My shirts hang more. I have to get larger sizes thanks to these breastfeeding boobies, but where they should fit close on my waist, they don't. I find myself having to pull the shirts up over my shoulders because they're giving me an 80s look.
I feel better these days. And I know it's from putting in that effort at the gym. Even if it's a 30min sesh, I feel so rejuvenated and pumped afterwards. I don't dread running as much as I used to. I see it as a necessary evil. One that will give me the results I want a lot faster than just strength training. And it's nice to sweat!
One big issue I'm dealing with is finding a bathing suit. Washington is having some really nice summer weather lately and we've already gone to the beach once. I, feeling super insecure, wore jeans and a tank top to the beach. Everyone was in shorts, bathing suits, skirts, dresses....and here I was in jeans! Charlie and I decided I need a bathing suit.
I've never worn a one-piece before. I once wore a tankini because I have a scar on my stomach from my kid days but I got over that quickly. I just can't seem to get over the fact that I have stretch marks. Sure, I've always had thicker thighs and I'm semi-comfortable with my curves. But I have purple marks on both of my hips. Pre-Austin, they were white and barely visible. But NOW. Oh man oh man. You can't hide from these.
I know I should just embrace them because HEY! I GREW A HUMAN IN HERE!! But still.....
I saw a few moms on the beach that - prebaby- I would've been like "uh uh girlfriend. cover that up". But now I'm just like them. My abs aren't as tight as they were before and things just jiggle all over the place. So why am I not rocking this bod with pride. I'm a mother for crying out loud!
*sigh* Any bathing suit options that would look right on a mom like me? Someone who doesn't want to just wear a boring black one piece to cover up. Someone who acknowledges that she is a twentysomethin and "still has it", but is also a mom.