monday was hectic. okay?!

so i woke up yesterday with every intention of putting the kids down for a nap at some point during the day and then getting my booty on the computer and writing up a post for mcfatty monday. welp. that didn't happen. what DID happen was austin was so off the wall and crazy being silly that when he finally dozed off, i crashed right next to him holding bella. juggling two kids isn't like juggling four, but my gosh it's insanity.

so anyways.

i started tracking my weight everyday just because i wanted to see how breastfeeding could help in weight loss. really, i've been wanting to go to the gym but even when i have the time i just don't feel motivated. the only time i do is when i see a formerly large celebrity who has dropped a ton of weight. like my twin, raven-symone', or marsha ambrosious...or even jennifer hudson [though she annoys me.] seeing these three ladies on tv [which i have been seeing a LOT lately], plus all the articles in magazines about losing weight and getting ready for summer...really just makes me depressed. which then, makes me want to go work out and eat nothing by healthy food. but then i see a bag of twizzlers and just cave.

i've probably mentioned it on here before, but i struggled with an eating disorder when i was fifteen. [and typing that makes me feel like a loser. bc it seems like everyone has at some point. ugh]. anyway. i would starve myself and then binge and then throw up. so i guess that's all three, right? so yea. i had really unhealthy eating habits. then i dated a guy who had a ridiculous metabolism and never gained weight and he helped me through it somehow, but i started eating like HE did. long story, several years, two pregnancies and i'm sitting pretty OVER 150 pounds and feeling like a failure.

i just want it to be easy. and i know that's my downfall. i want to NOT want mcdonalds and taco bell. i want to crave water and exercise and leafy greens [although i craved a caesar salad for the last few days]. i know cooking at home has and will make a big difference in my caloric intake. but how do i get past those late night cravings for reese's and butterfingers and twizzlers. they seriously happen every night. how do i force myself to go to the gym when all i want to do when charlie gets home is pass out or retreat to the bathtub or blog? ACK!

so like i said earlier, i've been weighing myself. when i went into labor, i was at 180lbs. [yeesh]. i started weighing myself a week after bella was born.

day 1: 169.4
day 3: 168.0
day 6: 166.2
day 7: 168.6
day 8: 167.6
day 9: 167.6
day 10: 164.0
day 11: 164.0
day 12: 166
day 13: 164.8
day 14: 166

it's been four days since my last weigh in. i think seeing the number jump back up has put me in a funky mood. i'm annoyed. yesterday i signed up for MyFitnessPal.com which is a calorie tracker. i plugged in my meals for the day and was doing really well...

...until i went back for seconds and thirds of my homemade dinner. and then sent charlie for a twizzler run.  :( i overdosed by 500 calories. i know i have different caloric needs since i AM breastfeeding, but i doubt the extra 500 i got was really good for my milk supply. lol

blargh. this is just a pissy rant post. someone please give me good ideas for getting on track. my baby will be a month old in a few days and i really don't have any more excuses. even though people are marveling at "how great i look for just having a baby", i can't carry around this layer of fat forever. i need to get fit!


  1. As a sugar addict, getting my eating under control was the most monumental part of my fitness journey. I knew I couldn't do too much at 2 mo post-partum, but I could clean up my eating. Once I stopped putting so much junk in my gas tank, I got more energy. This extra energy afforded me the motivation to begin running.. And the rest is history. I didn't start really working out until M was 4 months old. Things started to get easier by that point ( mostly bc he was sleeping thru the night by then)

    You crave carbs bc youare sleep-deprived. Your body is trying to create energy via simple sugars. It's normal, but you don't HAVE to give in to your body's demands. U
    You are in control and you can choose to have a yogurt instead of candy. The protein is what you really need when you crave sugar.

    Don't be too hard on yourself. Baby steps and simple changes. It will happen, it just takes time. Besides, the longer it takes to lose the weight, the higher the likelihood that it will stay off.

  2. I found that breastfeeding didn't really help so much with the actual weight loss but rather it helps with getting your uterus back in shape and flattening the tummy a little bit. What helped me was staying active. I started walking trails at the park, raking the yard, sweeping instead of vacuuming, etc. Also, I have to admit eating healthier helped. I didn't diet.

    I just cut back on my fast food intake and made more of an effort to cook at home.


Tell me how you REALLY feel. C'mon..just TELLLLLL me. I love your comments.


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