not a baby anymore

my dear bellz,

i can't be in denial anymore. you're not in there anymore {there, being my uterus}...like your dad and i used to say. you're not a baby anymore. you're officially a toddler. and as much as i'm excited to get to know you as a toddler, i can't help but weep for my little baby.

from the time you were conceived, you've been my little surprise. my little unexpected, headstrong, taking-over-the-world surprise. you're constantly beating the odds. i became pregnant with you when i honestly didn't think it was possible...or at least not probable. you survived momma tripping and falling on top of you and you kicked and rolled your way through bedrest. you decided coming earlier was more your style and, despite the odds of you having issues from that early arrival, you came out kicking and screaming. you were born with a congential liver disease and you beat those odds as well. you're a fighter, mama. and i'm completely in awe of you.

being your mama brought about a fighter's mentality in me as well. having to be strong for you was so tough at times, but i was able to lean upon the Lord and seeing how well YOU were taking it all made it so much easier than i could've ever imagined. this first year of your life has been amazing. utterly amazing. and i just can't believe we're about to enter new territory as mommy & toddler.

i love remembering you like this, my sweet, small, cuddly little baby girl. 

and i love being able to have watched you grow from that little skinny, yet chubby little thing

to this amazing big girl. the most beautiful girl in the world.

 

happy first birthday bella bean.

no matter how old you get, you'll always be my little baby.