on any random day (this week), these thought ran through my head.
(while looking in the mirror) "dang girl , how you get all of that in them jeans?"
"that guy is hot. (looks down) are those TOMS? now he's REALLY hot."
"omg. i have diarrhea" <== true. story.
"mmmm i want some fresh guac in my facehole."
"i totally look like a hooker right now" (while standing outside in queen anne at 1am wearing a mini dress and wedge heels...oh did i mention i was on a street corner?)
(presses send) "NO NO NO....delete...delete...where's the damn cancel button...(message sent)....shit."
"there is no way i should still be pooping right now. seriously. how long IS this turd?!"
"ugh...bartender messed up my damn drink......(sips)....but i LIKE it!"
"THIS is why we're friends" (silently in response to the loud ass fart my best friend Lauren ripped while getting dressed to go on a date.)
girl, you so random