Is It Even Worth It At This Point?

The further along I get in this pregnancy, the more frustrated I become when people begin to ask questions. I find myself getting defensive and avoiding certain topics with people because of the lack of open-mindedness that many seem to possess. I don't like having to defend my actions or choices to anyone, let alone family members. I hate the helpless feeling we seem to feel after one of these discussions. When it came time to discuss our plans for pregnancy, birth, and raising kids Charlie and I were at opposite sides of the spectrum. I asked Charlie to do his own research, like I had done, and THEN make his decision. I didn't point him in the direction that would help me get my way. I let him find his own way. Once he had done his research, he was on board with me.

It's not that I don't like western medicine, hospitals, or doctors. I don't think it's all evil. I just believe that there is a time and a place. Birth is a natural human thing. Hundreds of thousands of generations have been born. Yes, while some have died..most of them THRIVED. There is no way we would be here today if the natural way didn't work. Long before pitocin, fetal heart monitors, c-sections, IVs, etc...babies were born. Hospitals are meant for sick and broken people. Do I go get pain killers before I feel any pain? No. And If I did, I should see someone about a possible addiction. My point is...pending everything is progressing beautifully as God had intended...I want to stay home. I also want to point out- if something ISN'T dandy...we're going to the hospital.

I just wonder if it's all worth it anymore. Family members threaten to cut us off if we continue on this way. Friends and family use scare tactics to scare us into doing it the "normal" way. They say we can't have possibly researched this, but I wonder...do these people do research or just listen to what the doctor says. True, they spent years in school learning about certain things that I just don't know and probably won't ever know. But I also know that a lot of things are unnecessary. I know the doctors are in the money making business and scaring mothers and fathers is a quick way to get money these days.

Call me crazy, but I believe in my body. I believe in my baby, my body, my husband. And I believe in my God. I believe that even when I'm terrified and scared that I have no idea what I'm doing, that my body knows what to do and my God is watching over me and protecting me. Some people don't have that much faith in me or God.

There are things we just will not be doing when it comes to Austin. There are other things that we remain firm on doing or implementing. I will list them and the explanation for them below.

We will be delaying the cord cutting.
At first, the decision was to delay it until the it stopped pulsating. This was to prevent jaundice. I was jaundice as a baby and even though this had very little to do with how quickly the cord was cut but more about how early I was born, I don't want to risk him being jaundice because the doctors and nurses got a bit snip happy. As we researched it a bit more [reading more books, watching more videos, talking to like-minded individuals], we decided that we'd let him stay attached as long as possible. I brought this to my doctors attention and he begun pushing his own agenda. ["How about we clamp it?"] Austin will have been growing inside me for quite some time. After birth, we're going to lose this vital piece of the puzzle that keeps us connected. I want to savor the last few moments we have being together [literally]. And medically, I want as much of the cord blood to drain into his body. There are vital pieces of goodness in that cord blood and why shouldn't he get all of it?

He will not be getting a bath right away.
When a baby is in the womb, he is covered in vernix to protect him from the amniotic fluid. It also acts as a lubricant during birth. When he comes out, he's got the white gunk all over him and typically the doctors and nurses rub it all off right away. There's nothing truly scientific about our reasoning other than it has some good juju [natural protective properties]. It's actually good for his skin. Rather than scrubbing all of the gunk off, we're going to massage it in and allow it to absorb into his skin. Sounds gross, but we're all for it.

We will not be administering Vitamin K or eye drops.
-Western medicine has decided that certain procedures for some should be standardized. Roughly 1 in 10,000 babies has a vitamin K deficiency. This prevents blood clotting and can cause major problems if your baby has it. Some want to bring up the link between vitamin k and the increased risk of childhood leukemia, but there have been no conclusive results from any of the studies. The beauty of mother nature and the way that God designed bodies to work and function properly is that any vitamin K that I take in will go directly to him through breastmilk. The first milk he'll receive from me will be full of it.
-Shortly after birth, doctors and nurses administer an antibiotic ointment [or drops], erythromycin. This next part is what really makes me shake my head at western medicine and how blindly most people will follow it. These eyedrops protect babies from eye infections. Infections from what? Gonorrhea/Chlamydia bacteria! The last time I checked, I've never had nor am I at risk for these infections therefore Austin isn't either [unless he's getting busy in the womb!] Therefore= UNNECESSARY. Did you also know that these drops temporarily blind your baby. So when he could be getting some bonding time with mommy and daddy, he's actually being blinded because some people are too careless with their bodies and now EVERY BABY has to have these STD drops.

We will not be circumcising Austin's penis.
Currently, this baby is growing inside of me. He is being made from scratch. God is entrusting one of his precious angels to Charlie and I and it is our duty to protect him from harm. There is no medical reason that circumcision is necessary [unless phimosis occurs- where the foreskin doesn't retract, becomes tight and obstructs the flow of urine]. So why in the world would I let someone snip him? A lot of people believe that uncircumcised penises attract infections and cancer. Circumcision does NOT prevent any disease. Diseases happen to anyone who doesn't practice proper hygiene. If you play in the mud, you're going to get dirty. Austin will learn proper hygiene and practice these on a daily basis. Then comes the argument of looking "aesthetically pleasing" or "like daddy". Honestly, all penises look the same when they are erect [and isn't that the point where you are looking at it anyway?]. And if I wanted him to look like daddy, he'd get two large tattoos on his arm and pierce his eyebrow. Besides, more and more people are choosing the uncirc'ed route so I doubt he'll have issues in the locker room.

We will be selective/refusing vaccines.

Austin WILL receive: [possibly with some delay]
-Tetanus [though I can't recall ever getting a booster from this. they tried to give it to me at Madigan and I refused]
-Pertussis [might even forego this one as his chances of getting whooping cough aren't that likely until he goes to daycare]
-Hib [to protect against meningitis]

Austin WILL NOT receive:
-Hep B
-DTap
-MMR [not bc of the link with Autism, but because the three illnesses it protects against are pretty minor. I never had it and never contracted any of the diseases]
-Varicella [aka chicken pox vaccine]
-Hep A
-Polio [although the jury is still out on this one]
-Rotavirus
-Flu Shot [unless he is in a high-risk area...which I doubt since I've caught the flu once from having someone cough onto my pillow. besides...i'm allergic to it and all flu medication so if he gets it..i'm screwed.]


Charlie and I aren't irresponsible parents-to-be. We are merely looking at the facts, researching all possible options, and deciding what we think is best for our family and our son. We are doing the best we can think to do. That doesn't make us irresponsible or reckless. I'm not against doing the hospital/doctor route if it's necessary, but if it's not...why should we?

I don't expect anyone to understand, but I do expect some level of respect for these decisions from EVERYONE. We're not saying you're wrong if you do it differently or that you made some major mistake that we're trying not to repeat. It's just that this is what we want and we're confident that it's the best decision.

A Little Quickie.

There's so much I want to blog about, but I just haven't had the time. So now for a quick updizzle:

++Charlie is home from WLC. It was a rough 2wks, but we did it! Yay us. And now I don't have to worry about the Army sending him to ridiculous things like this for a long time. *fingers crossed*

++The dogs are STILL being horrid with their potty training and less irritating about their sleeping arrangements. Princess STILL won't poop or pee outside and Tucker has decided he'd rather poop in our closet or in the kitchen rather than outdoors. Ugh

++Austin has decided he doesn't like synching with mommy on sleeping schedules. So now he likes to jump around when I'm trying to go to sleep. I can't help but smile though...I mean..the kid has personality, right?

++I've also been having day dreams and night dreams about the little guy. *sigh* 17 weeks should really pass by really quickly ....if I had my way.

++Work is still good. I think I'm just feeling the strain some days of working fulltime. I work A LOT. But the pay is good, customers [although really stuck up] are good, and I like most of my coworkers. The ones I don't particularly like ALL THE TIME are the ones I don't really have to deal with, so all is well.

++Charlie and I took pictures the other day and they are just sooo cute. I can't wait to post them up. I have to find a scanner though....

And that, friends, is all. Peeeez.

Ultrasound Results and Crazy Dreams

I just got back from my second, followup ultrasound to check on Austin's heart. All in all, the doc said that the only way to TRULY be able to tell if he has Downs is to do an Amnio, but my chances of miscarrying are 1 in 200. According to today's ultrasound, my age, and my quad screen- my chances of him having Downs are 1 in 17,000. Therefore, testing for it has a higher chance than him actually having it.

I serve a mighty good God. I've been in prayer over this and I know others have been as well [thanks to those people!!]. Last night I dreamt I delivered him in five minutes [more on that later...lol] and he latched on perfectly and was a content baby. I feel in my heart that God allowed me to dream that beautiful dream to put me at ease. So all is well. Austin is roughly one ounce short of a pound in weight, he's measuring five days smaller than my due date, and he just LOVES nuzzling his head in my cervix. lol He crosses his legs at the ankle a lot and when he's not doing that, he's holding onto one of his feet! I have a real stubborn one on my hands though. The tech had to keep shaking my belly in hopes of getting him to stretch out and cooperate with us...poor little guy. I'm sure he was just not ready for his close-up. BUT- we did get six more pictures of him. I have to scan them onto a disc as they'll fade over time. *sniff*. I can't wait to show Charlie today after graduation.

So this dream. LOL. I can't stop laughing at it. I dreamt that Charlie and I were somewhere [where, I'm not sure] . I turned to grab something and my water broke so I grabbed onto the counter. And literally within five minutes of me trying to walk into another room, he started crowning. So I doubled over and went down on my knees. Then I thought I had a few minutes before anything else would happen but his head and shoulders came through and he came out right into my hands!! In the dream, I didn't feel any real pain afterwards and after we cleaned him up, he latched on perfectly. HAHA.

Crazy dream, huh?

Follow Up Appointment

So the clinic called and we scheduled a follow up ultrasound for a week from today. I'm slightly nervous. I'm not sure if I want to worry Charlie while he's at WLC. He's doing such a good job of staying positive that I don't want to burden him. The downside is that I have to carry this big load on my shoulders and pretty much hold my breath until then.

I know I serve a faithful God and He has never put more on me than I can handle. With his love and guidance I've managed to make it through everything.

A lot of prayer would be helpful and appreciated.

Shadows...

The doctor called and told me that they saw a shadow on Austin's heart. He said that 99% of the time it's nothing, but it does require some further testing.

He's referring me to a fetal heart specialist. [I don't remember what he called it. He threw out a lot of different acronyms and medical terms..ugh]

We could use some prayer.

Two Little Doggies and Potty Training

Dealing with a dog who doesn’t want to poop or pee is exhausting. I’ve been good about the potty breaks and Tucker has been really good about it [save for a few mishaps due to my poor judgement calls], but Princess absolutely refuses to do anything outside except sit and watch. I’ve literally had to pick her up and move her onto the grass several times before she does anything.

Yesterday morning she decided she didn’t want to go outside, yet again, so I figured she’d go in her own time. Little did I know that “her own time” would be shortly after coming back inside while I was upstairs getting dressed for work. Not only did she pop a squat down in the living room, she came up the stairs and started peeing in the walkway while looking at me! I sent her downstairs only to have a long pee trail following behind her. *slams head on the wall*. Needless to say, it’s time for some tough love.

She’s been in her cage most of yesterday, last night and so far this morning. I came home from work and let them both out. When she decided she wasn’t going to go, I brought them back in and put her in the cage. She whined about it, but too bad. I let them out right before bed. Tucker was great and peed so he was allowed to sleep with me. Princess opted not to so back in the cage. Well, it’s now 3am and I needed a glass of water so I woke Tucker up and went downstairs to let them outside again. It’s raining so neither of them wanted to go in the grass, but I picked them up individually and put them further out in the yard [so they could smell around and eventually find a good spot]. It took several trips out and even bringing them back in for some water before Princess finally relented and pooped. Tucker happily followed suit, thankfully.

I was going to let Princess out of the cage for the night and back into the room [since she did achieve the ultimate goal], but I’ve done instant rewards with her before and it doesn’t really seem to work. I think once she consistently goes outside, without my having to force her further out into the yard, then I’ll let her out. Tucker knows instantly what going out in the back yard means so he gets special privileges. Of course, if he decides to regress on his potty training hell receive the same treatment.

I can’t wait until Charlie comes home. These two are stressing me out. lol

Emotional Rollercoaster

This week has definitely been one of ups and downs. Today’s events have really tested my emotional 
“endurance” while Charlie’s been away. With the day off, I was determined to be productive and get some errands done and “to-dos” checked off my list. I was able to get the laundry done and pick up a pair of black comfy shoes for work. *yay personal victory*

The dogs, on the other hand, have been more than difficult. With Tucker being a puppy, we’re trying to get him on a set potty training schedule and [in turn] get Princess re-potty trained [since she decided to regress roughly six months ago]. I take them outside every two hours, 30 minutes after each meal, after they’ve woken up from a nap, and as soon as I let them out of the cage [also, whenever they start sniffing around the house..] Princess has been having digestive problems so she’ll go one or two days without pooping and sometimes it makes its way out on its own surprising all of us. [ugh] I haven’t actually seen her go #2 in at least three days. Well today she ended up going on her own [thankfully]. Tucker, on the other hand, pooped on me while I was holding him and then had some kind of diarrhea/butt problems when I put him outside.

Shortly after that incident, Charlie called and I broke down and cried. I know just how ridiculous it sounds, but that incident [on top of everything else this week] sent me over the edge. *sigh* I think I’ve taken for granted how much he helps out around the house and how often he steps in to make my life a little easier. I know it was hard for him to hear me crying over the phone, knowing he couldn’t really do anything other than offer up helpful advice and comforting words. He reassured me that he’s been praying for me while he’s been away. After his pep-talk and a short nap, I was able to push through the day and get more accomplished.

Tonight, Austin has been moving around so much. I put my hand on my belly to see if I can feel him kick and *drum roll*....I CAN! I told Charlie about it and now we’re looking forward to him coming home and being able to feel it himself. Ugh...I just want him home already. I feel like such a heel for complaining so much, but how I feel is legitimate whether or not it “compares” to someone else’s relationship. BUT- when he comes home, I have a yummy dinner surprise for him. Stuffed Pumpkins!!! WOO.

Alright..now time for Chelsea Lately, more tacos, a bedtime phone call, and then nighty night-ness. Work bright and early tomorrow!!

My Little Mover and Shaker...

The coolest thing to happen thus far in this pregnancy -- Austin responded back to my pokes and prods!!! Last night I was lying in bed, reading a book after getting off the phone with Charlie for the night, and I felt him move. Just out of curiosity, I poked the spot and he kicked back. Out of three prods, he kicked back twice. Maybe it’s just coincidence, but it was super cool!

Today, I was lying on the couch [on my side] watching tv and he moved and there was a large [noticeable] lump on the lower left side of my stomach. It was super uncomfortable, but I could tell it was him. It was the coolest thing!! I can’t even explain it. By the time I got the video function on my cellphone, he’d moved again.

Charlie will be back when I’m between 22-23 weeks. I wonder if he’ll be able to feel his kicks and movements by then...

I'll Be Your Favorite Barista...

Today is my first day at the new job. I’m excited. I got hired on Friday at Cafe D’Arte in downtown Seattle. It’s a really quaint cafe where they take their coffee super seriously [finally!!!] They’ve been in business for 25 years [successfully] so it’s not some rinky dink coffee shop where people don’t know the business of coffee. Yay!

I’ll be starting my training today at the roasting plant. Then tomorrow and Wednesday, I’m going to be training at the retail store. I’m hired on for full-time. It really is a blessing. I prayed on it and I’m seeing God work right before my eyes in His own time. I’m loving it.

I also got offered a position at My CoffeeHouse in Bellevue. It’s sort of like The Village Bean in that it caters to parents/grandparents of younger children. It’s in Bellevue Square surrounded by other businesses that cater to young children. I’m going there tonight just to check out the training and such. Looking ahead at their schedule, I’m working less than 15 hours there so if I can juggle both- that’d be an even GREATER blessing.

It’s going to be great to be productive again. I miss coffee so much, especially when I stop by and see my coworkers from Online. lol. I can’t wait to get in the swing of things again!!!

20w0d

It’s official! I have reached the halfway point in my first pregnancy with Austin!! I can’t believe it!!
I love that I actually have a bump now. And it actually feels springy to the touch...firm but springy [if that makes any sense...]. I’ve gained back the initial ten pounds I’d gained during the first six weeks and lost during the following 6-8weeks. That was weird, tipping the scale at my first appointment and then losing seven of those pounds miraculously and then slowly gaining it back. lol I still don’t look pregnant from behind, but of course I can see it. My hips are definitely bigger and still in somewhat of a proportion to my waist [which has widened, obviously]. I’d like to say that it doesn’t matter what I look like, but I don’t want to lose control of my body during this pregnancy. Especially because I was a good ten to fifteen pounds over my usual weight when I got pregnant. Besides, I have to be able to fit in a cheer uniform come April and May!!





We took these as we were leaving for the Cowboys/Broncos game! Go Cowboys!






Charlie just HAD to get in the shot. lol

Second Trimester Ultrasound!

We finally got to see our li’l chub again! Of course we had a glimpse of him on my birthday, but this time we spent over and hour just watching him move around while the tech checked him out and took measurements. He’s roughly 19cm [6in] long and weighs about 10oz! According to thebump.com, he’s the size of a cantaloupe! I look down at my belly and just imagine a cantaloupe baby somewhere in there. It’s so hard to believe sometimes, but then he kicks me and it feels more real.




These are a couple shots of his face. I LOVE my little alien head baby. lol.



Doesn’t it look like he’s giving a thumbs up?! He had a lot of left-hand movements, which makes me wonder if he’ll be a lefty like me!






We also discovered that Austin can be a bit stubborn when he wants to be! For most of the hour, he was lying on his right side, kind of like he was lounging. We got a few shots of his face [obviously] and then the tech was trying to get a profile shot. As soon as she said that out loud, he flipped over onto his belly so we couldn’t get a clear picture. We did see some of his profile, but not anything picture-worthy. lol. So she snapped this one instead...stubborn little boy.


All in all, it was a pretty great time. Lying on my back was super painful and I was trying to fight back tears ten minutes into the ultrasound. I felt like a little kid at the doctor’s office because I kept squirming around from the pain. Not to mention the tech was pushing REALLY hard onto my stomach so that didn’t help any. I was glad to see my little boy though. I can’t believe I’m halfway done with the pregnancy. Only a few more months before he’s in our arms!!!

30 minutes...it's the final countdown!

I have a whole thirty minutes before I go in for my ultrasound. I came back from my job interview and ate some lunch and tried to take a nap, but I'm just so frazzled. I'm so anxious to see my little boy!!

I've been having pain in my lower abdomen since yesterday. I think it's round ligament pain combined with gas bubbles floating somewhere in my intestines. Ugh..it's not fun. Lately he's also been staying still during the day and moving only slightly during the evening. I got a bit worried one day when I realized I hadn't felt him move all day but once I relaxed, focused and prayed a bit..he nuzzled me. lol

My puppy just fell off the bed and ran underneath it when I tried to pick him up!! LOL he's so cute!!